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♪ Thank you for being a friend
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♪ Traveled down the
road and back again
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♪ Your heart is true
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♪ You're a pal and a confidante
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♪ And if you threw a party
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♪ Invited everyone you knew
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♪ You would see the
biggest gift would be from me
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♪ And the card
attached would say
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♪ "Thank you for
being a friend" ♪
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Girls! Girls, it's here.
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I am so excited. It's my letter
from the Elvis Presley Fan Club.
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Oh, my hands are shaking.
Dorothy, you read it.
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"Dear Rose Nylund,
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"Your application to start
an unauthorized chapter
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"of the Elvis Presley Hunk-a
Hunk-a Burnin' Love Fan Club
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in your neighborhood and/or
trailer park has been accepted."
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This is the happiest,
most fulfilling day of my life!
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Which makes you the most
pathetic human being on this planet.
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Well, I love Elvis.
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Blanche, I'd be honored if
you'd be the first member
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of the Hunk-a Hunk-a
Burnin' Love Fan Club.
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I graciously accept and promise
to do a good job as president.
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Why should you be president?
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Well, because I saw Elvis in
Harum Scarum over 50 times.
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So did I.
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I have every album
he ever recorded.
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So have I. And every single.
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I slept with him in a Motel
6 outside Chattanooga.
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Congratulations,
Madam President.
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Blanche, why did you say that? You
didn't really sleep with Elvis Presley.
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Back where I come from,
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there were a lot of hillbilly
boys with muttonchop sideburns
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named Elvis.
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The light was bad in the
bayou. It could have happened.
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Blanche, you never
slept with Elvis Presley.
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Oh, all right, all right.
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But I once did make love to an
unattractive boy named Ernest,
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and in the middle of it,
I cried out Elvis' name.
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Technically, I
think that counts.
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Ma, what's the matter?
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Esther Weinstock is dead.
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We grew up together.
She was my best friend.
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Oh, I'm so sorry. What happened?
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She was fighting an oil-rig
fire in the Gulf of Mexico.
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She was 88!
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Well, it's great that
she was able to work
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right up to the end.
48
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When is the funeral? Wednesday.
49
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I'll go back to
Brooklyn with you.
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I'm not going, and you know why.
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I guess the body
was lost at sea.
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Ma doesn't want
to go to the funeral
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because Esther's husband...
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Max Weinstock will be there. I
will not stand under the same roof
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with that miserable
bocciagalupe, and you know why.
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See, years ago, Max and my
father were business partners.
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They ran a pizza-knish
stand at Coney Island.
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One day, Pop came home and said
that Max had gambled away the profits.
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Well, they went broke.
Ma never forgave him.
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Years ago, Max and my
Salvadore were business partners...
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They already know, Ma.
Oh, that's what I figured.
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I got my heel
caught in the carpet.
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Sophia, she was
your best friend.
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Are you sure you don't
want to go to her funeral?
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Of course I want to go.
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But I swore a Sicilian oath I would never
cast my eyes on Max Weinstock again.
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And nothing you say or do
will make me change my mind.
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I'll pay for the tickets.
Book business class.
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If I have to sit through the Three
Amigos, I'll need champagne.
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All right, Dorothy.
Let's get out of here.
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Ma, we have to pay our
respects to the family.
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And listen, if you see Max,
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I don't want you making
another scene like at the funeral.
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Scene? What scene? It's not my
fault the klutz tripped over my foot
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and nearly fell
into an open grave.
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You didn't have to yell, "Start
shoveling, boys," as he tried to get up.
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Sophia?
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Dorothy, do you
hear a dog howling?
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Behave yourself.
Hello, Mr. Weinstock.
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Oh, my goodness,
as I live and breathe.
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Unfortunately.
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You're little Dorothy
Petrillo. That's right.
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You haven't changed a
bit. Same gorgeous smile.
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Pretty eyes, beautiful figure,
long golden blonde hair.
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You have cataracts,
don't you, Mr. Weinstock?
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Since 1967.
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Let's go.
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Sophia... Esther would have
appreciated you being here.
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I loved that woman.
She was the best.
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Which why she
deserved a better husband
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instead of a miserable,
no-good, lowlife sleazeball.
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Sophia, if you knew
now what I knew then...
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Ah, so what.
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00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,325
If you've got something
to say, spit it out.
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Don't push me, or I will.
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There, I pushed. Too bad
you weren't on a flight of stairs.
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Ma, Ma, you're creating a scene.
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Look, that was a long
time ago. Forget about it.
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I can't forget. This man
stole money from us.
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00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,376
Because of him, our
family went hungry.
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Ma, we never went hungry.
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Some nights, I
felt like dessert.
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Sophia, I kept this
secret for 40 years
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because I didn't want
to break your heart.
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But now that I know it's made of
stone, you might as well know the truth.
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Brooklyn, 1949.
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We were sitting at this table
playing a spirited game of...
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Gin!
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Four in a row. Tonight's
your lucky night.
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I hope that'll continue
once we get home. Ha.
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He buys a new T-shirt,
trims the hair out of his ears,
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suddenly he's Charles Boyer.
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So how was business
today? Terrific.
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We didn't have a pizza
or a knish left on the shelf.
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I'd love a cup of coffee.
I'll get everybody some.
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Here, let me help.
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Max, there's something
I have to tell you.
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What's wrong?
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The week's receipts
- I lost 'em on a horse.
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You what?
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I got a tip. It was
supposed to be a sure thing.
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I don't believe it! That
means we're out of business.
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We're through.
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So's my marriage.
When Sophia finds out,
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she'll put me out on
the street. Max, I'm sorry.
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Coffee'll be ready in a minute.
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Sophia, I have
something to tell you.
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Wait, wait. Let me tell her.
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Sophia, we're out of business.
I gambled the money away.
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That's not true.
I wish it wasn't.
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That's what happened.
I'm sorry, Sophia.
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I don't believe it! This
is insane. Calm down.
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Calm down? Calm down?
Did you hear what he just said?
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Salvadore wanted to tell
you, but I wouldn't let him.
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I cared for you both too much
to let your marriage break up.
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And Sal felt so guilty, he never
gambled again. It was worth it.
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That was a very lovely thing you
did, Mr. Weinstock. Wasn't it, Ma?
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Wasn't it, Ma?
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Ah, forget it. It's
ancient history.
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00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,895
Ma, say something to him.
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00:08:05,919 --> 00:08:09,699
I can't. Sicilians have a
hard time with apologies.
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00:08:09,723 --> 00:08:13,825
They also have a hard time passing
wet cement without putting someone in it.
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They manage. Go on.
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Max, there's something
I gotta say to you.
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What?
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The knishes.
They're pretty good.
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Apology accepted.
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Well, that about
concludes the first meeting
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00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:49,372
of the Hunk-a Hunk-a
Burnin' Love Fan Club.
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But before we adjourn,
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our secretary has a
real special surprise.
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A genuine Elvis artifact!
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It's a partially-eaten
pork chop.
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He had beautiful
teeth, didn't he?
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It's wonderful.
156
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This has to be a fake.
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Elvis would never have left
this much meat on a pork chop.
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Dorothy, you're out of the club.
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Meeting is adjourned.
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Thank you, ladies. See you
next week. Thank you for coming.
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00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,131
Well, I hope you're not
too upset over this, Dorothy.
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I've just been thrown out of
an unauthorized Elvis fan club.
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I'll try to pick up the pieces
and go on with my life.
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I mean, there must be a
support group for people like me.
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We're sorry, Dorothy,
but the bylaws clearly state
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that any derogatory
remarks about the King
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00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,025
are grounds for
immediate expulsion.
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00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:18,561
Maybe you ought to
join an organization
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00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,897
that is a little less
fanatical in its devotion.
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Like what, Blanche? The PLO?
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Do you know what I hate
doing most after a party?
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Trying to find your
underwear in the big pile?
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Cleaning up the dirty dishes.
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You twit.
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Listen, why don't we
just leave this mess
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and go out and get
something to eat?
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00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,364
I'll ask Ma if
she'd like to come.
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00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,366
It'll do her good to
get out of the house.
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00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,835
Oh, she's been so
depressed since that funeral.
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I mean, she lost one
of her oldest friends,
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and even though she made up with
Max, she'll probably never see him again.
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00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:09,012
Well, you go and get her.
We will try to cheer her up.
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00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,547
We don't want that poor
thing getting sick over this.
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00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,082
No.
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00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:16,319
Ma! Oh, my God!
Dorothy, what is it?
186
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:17,453
What, honey?
187
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:21,679
Oh! Good Lord.
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00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,472
Ma, what is going on here?
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Afterglow.
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00:11:41,634 --> 00:11:43,680
Nice to see you again, Dorothy.
191
00:11:43,704 --> 00:11:46,504
You too, Mr. Weinstock.
When did you get in?
192
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:57,060
Oh, you mean in town? Yesterday.
193
00:11:57,084 --> 00:12:00,196
You should have called. I
could have made you dinner.
194
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,466
Before you slept with
my mother! Dorothy!
195
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,468
Ma, this is the most upsetting
thing you have ever done.
196
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:10,106
I am shocked. I am
disappointed. I am speechless.
197
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:12,763
We're getting married.
I am very lightheaded.
198
00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:23,452
Dorothy? Dorothy?
199
00:12:23,476 --> 00:12:25,454
Oh, good, I think
she's waking up.
200
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:30,126
Oh, honey, come on,
sweetie. Are you all right?
201
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,628
Oh, I'm fine, Rose.
202
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:37,266
Oh, that was strange. I...
I've never fainted before.
203
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,436
Me neither. What does
it feel like after you faint?
204
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:41,658
Like this, Rose.
205
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:52,281
Ma, I think it's time you explained all
this nonsense about getting married.
206
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,816
It's not nonsense.
207
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,818
And we're gonna
do it right away.
208
00:12:55,842 --> 00:13:00,156
Look, Dorothy, I know that you'll
probably find it hard to understand.
209
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:02,758
But when I saw your mother
again after all these years,
210
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,427
something happened.
211
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:08,564
We talked, we laughed, we
held hands, we fell in love.
212
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,300
Actually, we got a hot
dog before we fell in love.
213
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:15,004
But the point is, we're
crazy about each other.
214
00:13:15,028 --> 00:13:17,840
And if this turns out to
be a mistake, what the hell,
215
00:13:17,864 --> 00:13:21,577
we'll probably be
dead before we find out.
216
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,447
Kiss me, you poet.
217
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:27,917
Oh, they are so cute
together! Isn't it romantic?
218
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,153
No, it isn't. It's ridiculous.
219
00:13:30,177 --> 00:13:32,188
Ma, this is the biggest mistake
220
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:35,057
you have ever made in your life.
221
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:37,894
Fine. Don't come to the wedding.
222
00:13:37,918 --> 00:13:40,896
Who wants you? But
just remember one thing.
223
00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,421
If you want to send us a gift,
we're registered at Jordan Marsh.
224
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:56,612
What are you doing?
225
00:13:56,636 --> 00:13:58,848
Sending out invitations
for Sofia's wedding.
226
00:13:58,872 --> 00:14:02,151
Oh, well, forget about that.
Do you know what we need?
227
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,542
An Elvis impersonator.
228
00:14:06,378 --> 00:14:09,391
That sounds great. I thought
we'd get a new dishwasher first,
229
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:12,328
but this could probably
come in just as handy.
230
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:17,733
I mean for our next
club meeting, Rose.
231
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:21,504
Membership has been waning.
Maybe this will generate a little interest.
232
00:14:21,528 --> 00:14:24,273
Oh, Blanche,
that's a terrific idea.
233
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,641
What's a terrific idea?
234
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:28,344
Hiring an Elvis impersonator
for our next club meeting.
235
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,851
If you were picking out an Elvis
236
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:31,948
impersonator, how would
you pick a good one?
237
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:35,439
I'd thump on his belly
and see if he's ripe.
238
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:40,222
How the hell should I know?
Why the hell should I care?
239
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:43,226
You threw me out
of your crummy club.
240
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,394
I'll start working on
it as soon as I finish
241
00:14:45,418 --> 00:14:48,064
the invitations for...
you-know-who's wedding.
242
00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:52,034
Look, Rose, I would rather
not talk about Ma's wedding.
243
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:55,371
Dorothy, don't you think it's
time you gave her your blessing?
244
00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:59,542
We've hired a caterer, we've ordered
flowers. The invitations are being sent.
245
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:01,743
Blanche, how can I
give her my blessing?
246
00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,846
She has hated that
man for 40 years.
247
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:07,950
Now, suddenly, after a three-day
weekend, she decides to get married.
248
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:11,053
I cannot believe that someone
can fall in love that quickly.
249
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:14,923
My Charlie asked me to marry
him ten minutes after we met.
250
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:17,827
'Course, we were
only seven at the time.
251
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:21,196
My mother was so
cute when I told her.
252
00:15:21,220 --> 00:15:23,966
She said, "Rose, honey,
you're just a little girl.
253
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:27,569
"You have your entire life before
you, and the whole world to see.
254
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:30,973
"Now, you wait until you
grow up and get sophisticated,
255
00:15:30,997 --> 00:15:35,745
and marry at 15,
like your sisters."
256
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,313
But you didn't.
257
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:41,050
No. I was always kind
of the gypsy of the family.
258
00:15:41,074 --> 00:15:42,439
The rebel.
259
00:15:46,379 --> 00:15:48,924
I wanted to see the
world. After high school,
260
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,988
I went to St. Gustave
University to study Latin.
261
00:15:54,087 --> 00:15:56,532
I didn't know you studied Latin.
262
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:59,323
First in my class, Orothyday.
263
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,846
Well, what do you think?
264
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:14,450
Sophia, that looks beautiful.
It's absolutely gorgeous.
265
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:17,820
Don't you have to be a virgin
to wear a white wedding dress?
266
00:16:17,844 --> 00:16:19,821
Please! The last
time I was a virgin,
267
00:16:19,845 --> 00:16:21,925
the Louisiana Purchase
was still in escrow.
268
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:28,364
It doesn't matter. No one's
gonna see this. What do you mean?
269
00:16:28,388 --> 00:16:30,365
According to Sicilian custom,
270
00:16:30,389 --> 00:16:32,702
I can't marry unless I have
you-know-who's blessing.
271
00:16:32,726 --> 00:16:35,526
Who? Dick Clark!
272
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,308
Dorothy, you idiot.
273
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:42,533
Dorothy, your
mother's talking to you.
274
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:47,682
Dorothy, I spoke to your Aunt
Regina in Sicily this morning
275
00:16:47,706 --> 00:16:49,719
to tell her about the wedding.
276
00:16:49,743 --> 00:16:52,054
She told me I'm in
for some very bad luck
277
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:54,623
unless I have the blessing
of my eldest daughter
278
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,159
or my child with
the most facial hair.
279
00:16:57,183 --> 00:16:59,550
Either way, all
arrows point to you.
280
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:05,267
Ma, you know how I feel. I
cannot give you my blessing.
281
00:17:05,291 --> 00:17:08,871
Dorothy, I love you, but
if you ruin my happiness,
282
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,906
I will put a Sicilian
curse on you
283
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,908
that will be like hell on Earth.
284
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:17,446
Ma, you can't put a Sicilian
curse on your eldest daughter
285
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,514
if the mother is marrying a man
286
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:23,152
under five foot seven!
287
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:27,010
You're not the only one with
Aunt Regina's phone number.
288
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:31,882
Damn MCI.
289
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:42,137
Sophia? Sophia?
290
00:17:42,161 --> 00:17:45,507
Sophia? Ha-ha-ha.
291
00:17:45,531 --> 00:17:47,876
Where'd she go? The
wedding's about to start.
292
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:53,148
Is that you, Sophia?
No, it's Merlin Olsen.
293
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:56,251
I'm watering my
forget-me-not bouquet.
294
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:59,054
Honey, we've come
to help you get ready.
295
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,689
The wedding is off.
296
00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:03,259
What's going on? Where's Sophia?
297
00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:07,629
She's locked herself in the
bathroom. She has pre-wedding jitters.
298
00:18:07,653 --> 00:18:10,199
Sophia? It's me, Max.
299
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:13,936
Now, what's all this nonsense
about not wanting to get married?
300
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,705
Oh, Max, I love
you with all my heart.
301
00:18:16,729 --> 00:18:18,907
The time we've spent together
302
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,644
has been some of
the happiest of my life.
303
00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:23,679
But my Dorothy might be right.
304
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:26,982
Maybe it's not possible
to fall in love so quickly.
305
00:18:27,006 --> 00:18:29,985
Maybe it's not possible
at all at our age.
306
00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:32,587
But it sure felt like
it the other night
307
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:34,589
when we were
walking along the beach
308
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,691
and you took me in
your arms and said,
309
00:18:36,715 --> 00:18:39,662
"Sophia, look up at
that beautiful moon.
310
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:42,798
"I wish I could throw a lasso
around it and give it to you.
311
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,799
That's how much I love you."
312
00:18:44,823 --> 00:18:50,973
And then I said,
"Darling - Ma, stop. Stop.
313
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,975
Ma, listen, I have
to talk to you.
314
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,678
Who's in charge here?
315
00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:57,146
What's the problem?
316
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,215
I'm the caterer. It's 2:00.
317
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:02,351
The guests are waiting. Why
isn't the show on the road?
318
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,887
Ma, I know you're in
there. The wedding is off.
319
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:08,590
She doesn't approve.
She doesn't approve?
320
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:10,781
Now look here, Stretch.
321
00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,932
I have a hundred cheese
puffs and a sensitive assistant
322
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,768
both on the verge of collapse.
323
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:22,704
Whatever the
problem is, overlook it.
324
00:19:22,728 --> 00:19:25,074
My mother did with my marriage.
325
00:19:25,098 --> 00:19:28,198
And if you say something
smart, I'll slap you silly.
326
00:19:33,138 --> 00:19:38,075
Listen, this is a private
moment, so butt out, Rambo.
327
00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:42,625
Ma, I have a confession to make.
328
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,527
I came here to beg
you for the last time
329
00:19:45,551 --> 00:19:47,729
not to get married.
330
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:49,798
I didn't want you
and Max together
331
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:52,134
because it looked like
you were cheating on Pop.
332
00:19:52,158 --> 00:19:54,169
I know it doesn't
make any sense,
333
00:19:54,193 --> 00:19:57,338
but I still think of the two
of you as being married.
334
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:59,842
I didn't want Max
taking Pop's place.
335
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:04,179
But now that I see the
two of you so much in love,
336
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,249
I realize I was just
being selfish, Ma.
337
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,451
Ma, I want you to be happy.
338
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:12,076
And I know Pop would, too.
339
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:31,507
I love you, pussycat.
340
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:33,842
This is more moving
341
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:36,045
than Susan Hayward's
climactic speech
342
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:39,048
in I Want To Live.
343
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:42,072
You're ready to fly right
out of here, aren't you?
344
00:20:45,111 --> 00:20:48,111
Well, excuse me for
living, Anita Bryant.
345
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:54,630
Could we please get married
already so I can get in on the hugging?
346
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,598
Places! Oh, Sophia.
347
00:20:56,622 --> 00:20:59,435
Honey, I want to wish you
all the happiness in the world.
348
00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:01,270
Oh, thank you, Blanche.
349
00:21:01,294 --> 00:21:03,438
And, Sophia, I want to offer you
350
00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:07,275
a traditional Scandinavian
wedding blessing.
351
00:21:07,299 --> 00:21:10,979
Keflectoflafen flafenflurfen,
352
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:14,572
potetaflingin kaflafen.
353
00:21:15,642 --> 00:21:17,753
I'm really touched.
354
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,643
I'm also soaking wet.
355
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:25,861
All right! One group
hug, and let's hit the road.
356
00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:29,085
Oh, Sophia, honey...
357
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:01,696
Uh-oh.
358
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,566
Either I mixed the Elvis
list with the wedding list,
359
00:22:04,590 --> 00:22:06,568
or everyone in Max's family
360
00:22:06,592 --> 00:22:10,139
appeared on The
Ed Sullivan Show.
361
00:22:10,163 --> 00:22:13,130
Who cares already?
Let's just do it!
362
00:22:15,802 --> 00:22:19,982
We are gathered here today to join
this man and this woman in matrimony...
363
00:22:20,006 --> 00:22:23,385
I just love weddings.
Oh, me too, me too.
364
00:22:23,409 --> 00:22:25,587
You think you'll ever
get married again?
365
00:22:25,611 --> 00:22:27,556
Oh, I don't know.
I don't think so.
366
00:22:27,580 --> 00:22:29,558
Me, neither. How
about you, Blanche?
367
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:33,862
Oh, absolutely. If the
right man ever came along.
368
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:36,832
'Course, he'd have to have
the body of Mr. Mel Gibson,
369
00:22:36,856 --> 00:22:38,834
the personality of
Mr. Johnny Carson,
370
00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:42,037
and the financial resources
of Mr. Donald Trump.
371
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:46,975
I have a feeling the three of us are
going to be together for a long time.
372
00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:50,578
Do you, Max, take Sophia to
be your lawfully wedded wife?
373
00:22:50,602 --> 00:22:52,047
I do.
374
00:22:52,071 --> 00:22:55,450
Then if no Elvis in this room
has any objection to this union,
375
00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:58,875
I now pronounce you man
and wife. You may kiss the bride.
376
00:23:07,453 --> 00:23:15,453
♪ I do love you
♪ With all my heart
377
00:23:16,796 --> 00:23:21,777
♪ Blue skies of Hawaii smile
378
00:23:21,801 --> 00:23:29,551
♪ On this ♪ Our wedding day ♪
379
00:23:29,575 --> 00:23:30,708
Uh-huh.
380
00:24:19,325 --> 00:24:23,639
♪ Thank you for being a friend
381
00:24:23,663 --> 00:24:27,643
♪ Traveled down the
road and back again
382
00:24:27,667 --> 00:24:29,111
♪ Your heart is true
383
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:34,049
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
384
00:24:34,073 --> 00:24:38,120
♪ And if you threw a party
385
00:24:38,144 --> 00:24:42,457
♪ Invited everyone you knew
386
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:46,928
♪ You would see the
biggest gift would be from me
387
00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:49,330
♪ And the card
attached would say
388
00:24:49,354 --> 00:24:54,658
♪ "Thank you for being a friend"
389
00:24:58,731 --> 00:25:01,243
On the last episode
of "The Golden Girls"...
390
00:25:01,267 --> 00:25:02,799
Good Lord!
391
00:25:07,939 --> 00:25:10,519
Ma, what is going on here?
392
00:25:10,543 --> 00:25:13,643
Afterglow.
393
00:25:17,316 --> 00:25:20,294
Ma, this is the most upsetting
thing you have ever done.
394
00:25:20,318 --> 00:25:22,330
I am shocked. I am disappointed.
395
00:25:22,354 --> 00:25:24,966
I am speechless.
We're getting married!
396
00:25:24,990 --> 00:25:26,968
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
397
00:25:26,992 --> 00:25:29,159
You may kiss the bride.
398
00:26:02,394 --> 00:26:03,638
Oh!
399
00:26:11,470 --> 00:26:13,448
Call 911! Call 911!
400
00:26:13,472 --> 00:26:15,183
Call 911! 911! Call 911!
401
00:26:15,207 --> 00:26:16,885
It's 911. I got it.
402
00:26:16,909 --> 00:26:19,120
Get me the fire
department, quick. Blanche...
403
00:26:19,144 --> 00:26:21,356
All right, wait. Hello,
fire department?
404
00:26:21,380 --> 00:26:25,260
This is Blanche
Devereaux at 5161 Richm...
405
00:26:25,284 --> 00:26:30,231
Oh! Well, of course you
know where it is. Hi, Ed.
406
00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:32,567
I'm on fire.
407
00:26:32,591 --> 00:26:35,470
Why, you naughty boy!
408
00:26:35,494 --> 00:26:37,672
Blanche...
409
00:26:37,696 --> 00:26:39,941
I'll bet that's why
Chicago burnt down.
410
00:26:39,965 --> 00:26:44,079
Mrs. O'Leary was
probably a tramp, too.
411
00:26:44,103 --> 00:26:46,347
Give me that.
412
00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:48,049
Look, I'm terribly sorry.
413
00:26:48,073 --> 00:26:50,719
There's been a mistake.
There is no fire here.
414
00:26:50,743 --> 00:26:53,421
That's right, this
isn't Blanche.
415
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:57,414
So that remark about the
fire hose was totally wasted.
416
00:26:59,918 --> 00:27:03,465
I set off the smoke alarm. How?
417
00:27:03,489 --> 00:27:06,067
Cigarette. Oh, no
thank you, I don't smoke.
418
00:27:06,091 --> 00:27:09,003
Now, how did you
set off the alarm?
419
00:27:09,027 --> 00:27:12,741
I smoked a cigarette,
you amoeba.
420
00:27:12,765 --> 00:27:15,477
I'm sorry, Rose, I'm
sorry. I'm just so upset
421
00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:17,579
that I started smoking again.
422
00:27:17,603 --> 00:27:19,147
Well, why did you start again?
423
00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:21,183
I don't know. I don't know.
424
00:27:21,207 --> 00:27:23,351
I've just been under
a lot of stress lately.
425
00:27:23,375 --> 00:27:25,654
My job, Ma getting married...
426
00:27:25,678 --> 00:27:28,155
You're growing older,
you don't go out much,
427
00:27:28,179 --> 00:27:30,414
your chin is starting to droop.
428
00:27:32,284 --> 00:27:34,562
Since I've already
had the cigarette,
429
00:27:34,586 --> 00:27:38,600
why don't you just
blindfold me and shoot me?
430
00:27:38,624 --> 00:27:41,269
Hello! Honeymoon's
over. We're back.
431
00:27:41,293 --> 00:27:44,506
Don't let Ma know I have
been smoking. She will kill me.
432
00:27:44,530 --> 00:27:47,075
Ma!
433
00:27:47,099 --> 00:27:48,698
Dorothy!
434
00:27:51,403 --> 00:27:53,948
What was that for?
You've been smoking.
435
00:27:53,972 --> 00:27:56,985
I have not. Then
you've been smoking.
436
00:27:57,009 --> 00:28:01,088
No, I haven't. Ma, it was me.
437
00:28:01,112 --> 00:28:03,124
That's for lying.
438
00:28:03,148 --> 00:28:06,460
Dorothy, you quit 15 years ago.
You told me you'd never smoke again.
439
00:28:06,484 --> 00:28:08,763
I know, Ma, I'm sorry.
440
00:28:08,787 --> 00:28:12,701
Oh... You know, I quit
once, I can quit again.
441
00:28:12,725 --> 00:28:16,571
Hi, everybody. It's me,
Max, the blushing groom.
442
00:28:16,595 --> 00:28:18,373
Well, how was the honeymoon?
443
00:28:18,397 --> 00:28:21,242
I tell you, that Disney World
hotel was just wonderful.
444
00:28:21,266 --> 00:28:22,677
It had everything.
445
00:28:22,701 --> 00:28:25,647
Good service, delicious
food, a beautiful room.
446
00:28:25,671 --> 00:28:27,315
What did you think of the rides?
447
00:28:27,339 --> 00:28:30,752
They got rides?
448
00:28:30,776 --> 00:28:32,987
Don't worry about it.
You had a good time
449
00:28:33,011 --> 00:28:34,889
and you never
had to stand in line.
450
00:28:34,913 --> 00:28:38,759
We'd like to stay and chat, but we
want to get settled in our new place.
451
00:28:38,783 --> 00:28:41,062
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Come back soon.
452
00:28:41,086 --> 00:28:43,286
Oh, aren't they cute?
453
00:28:44,957 --> 00:28:50,171
We forgot something. We
forgot to get a new place.
454
00:28:50,195 --> 00:28:51,740
You're kidding?
455
00:28:51,764 --> 00:28:53,708
Don't worry. We just
need a roof over our heads
456
00:28:53,732 --> 00:28:55,972
for a couple of
days while we look.
457
00:28:57,169 --> 00:28:59,114
Doesn't have to
be anything fancy.
458
00:28:59,138 --> 00:29:01,282
Girls?
459
00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:04,286
Would you all like
to stay here with us?
460
00:29:04,310 --> 00:29:08,155
Here? Gee, that didn't
even cross my mind.
461
00:29:08,179 --> 00:29:10,925
What do you think, Max?
Well, there's no pool...
462
00:29:10,949 --> 00:29:15,886
All right, we'll stay - but only for a
couple of days. Get the bags, pumpkin.
463
00:29:17,322 --> 00:29:19,233
He likes to eat breakfast
in his underwear.
464
00:29:19,257 --> 00:29:22,537
I hope that's not a
problem for anyone.
465
00:29:22,561 --> 00:29:27,042
I need a cigarette. No,
Dorothy! You sit right down here.
466
00:29:27,066 --> 00:29:29,477
Now, you need to
exercise a little self-control.
467
00:29:29,501 --> 00:29:31,579
Dorothy, listen. You
can quit smoking.
468
00:29:31,603 --> 00:29:35,049
Now, just do it the way
I did it, just taper off -
469
00:29:35,073 --> 00:29:37,385
smoke only after sex.
470
00:29:37,409 --> 00:29:41,244
Good idea. One
pack'll last her a lifetime.
471
00:29:53,859 --> 00:29:55,103
Dorothy?
472
00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:57,093
Out in a minute, Ma.
473
00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:23,865
Hiya, cupcake.
474
00:30:23,889 --> 00:30:27,157
It's time to play
connect the freckles.
475
00:30:29,061 --> 00:30:30,638
Not now, Max.
476
00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:33,530
Would you hand me the... Aagh!
477
00:30:35,467 --> 00:30:38,312
What the hell is going on here?
478
00:30:38,336 --> 00:30:39,847
Aagh!
479
00:30:39,871 --> 00:30:42,483
Aagh! Aagh!
480
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,319
Quiet, quiet, quiet!
481
00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:46,287
This has been a big mistake.
482
00:30:46,311 --> 00:30:48,223
I thought Sophia
was in the shower.
483
00:30:48,247 --> 00:30:49,390
Hand me my glasses.
484
00:30:49,414 --> 00:30:51,581
I'm blind as a bat without 'em.
485
00:30:54,153 --> 00:30:56,764
Aagh!
486
00:30:56,788 --> 00:31:00,402
Shut up, Max. Blanche,
hand me my robe.
487
00:31:00,426 --> 00:31:03,204
Here you are. Now, listen.
488
00:31:03,228 --> 00:31:06,107
We love you two a lot, but
you've been here for three weeks,
489
00:31:06,131 --> 00:31:08,276
and this living arrangement
is not working out.
490
00:31:08,300 --> 00:31:11,378
I guess we forgot how hard it is
to live with a man in the house.
491
00:31:11,402 --> 00:31:14,749
Why? What did I
do? Well, you snore.
492
00:31:14,773 --> 00:31:15,950
You don't pick
up after yourself.
493
00:31:15,974 --> 00:31:18,620
You never remember
to lift the toilet seat.
494
00:31:18,644 --> 00:31:23,346
Please! He hardly ever
remembers to lift up the toilet lid.
495
00:31:25,451 --> 00:31:28,028
Fine, fine. We'll start
looking for a place today.
496
00:31:28,052 --> 00:31:30,319
Come on, Max.
497
00:31:48,173 --> 00:31:50,485
So what did you
think of the apartment?
498
00:31:50,509 --> 00:31:52,086
Too many old people.
499
00:31:52,110 --> 00:31:55,578
All those hearing aids
interfere with the cable TV.
500
00:31:57,182 --> 00:32:00,462
You want a Life Saver?
What kind you got?
501
00:32:00,486 --> 00:32:02,296
Peppermint. I don't
like peppermint.
502
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,466
I like butterscotch.
You got butterscotch?
503
00:32:04,490 --> 00:32:08,302
Does it say 7-Eleven
across my forehead?
504
00:32:08,326 --> 00:32:10,305
I got peppermint.
505
00:32:10,329 --> 00:32:12,295
I'll try one.
506
00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:16,110
I like butterscotch better.
507
00:32:16,134 --> 00:32:20,815
What is this?
Coconut? Peppermint!
508
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:24,040
Don't yell, I heard
you the first time.
509
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,988
It's nice to sit
here at the beach.
510
00:32:28,012 --> 00:32:30,691
Yeah. Beach is nice. Always was.
511
00:32:30,715 --> 00:32:33,628
My Sal used to like the
beach. Tell me about it.
512
00:32:33,652 --> 00:32:36,330
That's why he wanted to
open a pizza-knish stand
513
00:32:36,354 --> 00:32:38,399
on the boardwalk
in Coney Island.
514
00:32:38,423 --> 00:32:41,136
Now, there was a
million-dollar idea.
515
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,038
A million dollars was
a bargain for that idea.
516
00:32:44,062 --> 00:32:47,475
That business was Sal's
dream. Too bad it didn't work out.
517
00:32:47,499 --> 00:32:49,177
Yeah, bad timing.
518
00:32:55,007 --> 00:32:57,284
Hey! Hey, hey.
519
00:32:57,308 --> 00:33:00,888
Hey, you're driving away
the birds with that noise.
520
00:33:00,912 --> 00:33:03,324
You know a real song?
521
00:33:03,348 --> 00:33:06,227
Do you have a buck?
522
00:33:06,251 --> 00:33:08,696
"It Had To Be You."
523
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:10,999
That was Sal's favorite song.
524
00:33:11,023 --> 00:33:18,205
♪ It had to be you
♪ It had to be you
525
00:33:18,229 --> 00:33:22,410
♪ I wandered around,
and finally found...
526
00:33:22,434 --> 00:33:25,746
Speaking of found,
look what I found.
527
00:33:25,770 --> 00:33:27,703
Butterscotch.
528
00:33:30,875 --> 00:33:33,977
Doesn't get much
better than this.
529
00:33:48,660 --> 00:33:51,172
Oh, it is such a beautiful day!
530
00:33:51,196 --> 00:33:53,708
It sure is. What are you
gonna do today, Dorothy?
531
00:33:53,732 --> 00:33:58,646
Sit in a dark room and
smoke ten packs of cigarettes.
532
00:33:58,670 --> 00:34:00,514
Dorothy, I know what
you're going through.
533
00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:03,283
I smoked for years. You smoked?
534
00:34:03,307 --> 00:34:07,444
Rose, that's like finding
out Lassie was an alcoholic.
535
00:34:08,813 --> 00:34:12,893
Lassie was an alcoholic?!
536
00:34:12,917 --> 00:34:15,997
That explains why she
always tipped to one side
537
00:34:16,021 --> 00:34:19,456
when she waved goodbye to Timmy.
538
00:34:23,194 --> 00:34:26,774
Hi, everybody! We've
got some great news.
539
00:34:26,798 --> 00:34:30,545
We found a place.
It's absolutely perfect.
540
00:34:30,569 --> 00:34:32,580
It's near the beach,
it's reasonably priced,
541
00:34:32,604 --> 00:34:34,549
and it's just the right size.
542
00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:38,375
Ma, that's great. We're so excited,
we can't wait to show it to you.
543
00:34:43,548 --> 00:34:46,416
Well? What do you think?
544
00:34:49,521 --> 00:34:53,201
Ma, this is a run-down
old concession stand.
545
00:34:53,225 --> 00:34:54,502
You can't live here.
546
00:34:54,526 --> 00:34:57,005
We're not living
here. We leased it.
547
00:34:57,029 --> 00:35:00,541
It took every dime we had,
but it's a dream come true.
548
00:35:00,565 --> 00:35:02,210
I don't understand.
549
00:35:02,234 --> 00:35:05,101
You should have that
printed on a T-shirt.
550
00:35:07,606 --> 00:35:09,317
We're opening the
old business again.
551
00:35:09,341 --> 00:35:11,853
A million-dollar idea
deserves a second chance.
552
00:35:11,877 --> 00:35:13,988
Ma, come on.
You're both over 80.
553
00:35:14,012 --> 00:35:16,291
Starting a business
is hard work.
554
00:35:16,315 --> 00:35:20,094
Yeah, for amateurs. But
we've already done this before.
555
00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:21,695
By the way, we'll
be staying with you
556
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:25,333
until the business
gets off the ground.
557
00:35:25,357 --> 00:35:27,935
Well, what happens
if the business fails?
558
00:35:27,959 --> 00:35:31,261
We'll have to talk about a
night-light for the bathroom.
559
00:35:41,773 --> 00:35:45,485
Max. Put the paintbrush
down a minute.
560
00:35:45,509 --> 00:35:48,355
Taste this pizza.
561
00:35:48,379 --> 00:35:51,359
I want an absolutely
honest opinion.
562
00:35:51,383 --> 00:35:53,061
I'm dying. Yeah?
563
00:35:53,085 --> 00:35:54,495
It's gorgeous. Yeah?
564
00:35:54,519 --> 00:35:57,031
Perfection! Like
velvet in my mouth.
565
00:35:57,055 --> 00:35:59,901
A masterpiece! A
Picasso with mozzarella.
566
00:35:59,925 --> 00:36:02,270
A Rembrandt with tomato sauce.
567
00:36:02,294 --> 00:36:03,771
I thought it needed more salt.
568
00:36:03,795 --> 00:36:07,230
And garlic. It's a little flat.
569
00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:11,912
Oh, wow! Look at this.
570
00:36:11,936 --> 00:36:15,483
Why, the place is really
coming along. Boy, I'll say it is.
571
00:36:15,507 --> 00:36:17,785
I have to give you two credit.
572
00:36:17,809 --> 00:36:19,921
It looks like it's
really gonna happen.
573
00:36:19,945 --> 00:36:21,556
Why shouldn't it happen?
574
00:36:21,580 --> 00:36:24,625
I know the pizza business
like the back of my hand.
575
00:36:24,649 --> 00:36:26,060
I never noticed that before.
576
00:36:26,084 --> 00:36:29,564
What do you think it
would cost to remove that?
577
00:36:29,588 --> 00:36:32,633
Let's talk about it at home.
It's getting late. Let's go.
578
00:36:32,657 --> 00:36:34,001
We have a few more
hours of work here.
579
00:36:34,025 --> 00:36:37,405
Aw, Ma, you're
overdoing it. We're fine.
580
00:36:37,429 --> 00:36:39,040
Besides, we want
our grand opening
581
00:36:39,064 --> 00:36:41,676
in time for the big beach
festival this weekend.
582
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:44,078
Sophia, it's getting
damp and chilly out here.
583
00:36:44,102 --> 00:36:46,013
You're gonna catch
yourself a cold.
584
00:36:46,037 --> 00:36:49,016
Please! I haven't
had a cold in 40 years.
585
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:53,054
This is the worst cold
I've had in 40 years.
586
00:36:53,078 --> 00:36:56,757
My back is killing me. I
feel dizzy and nauseous.
587
00:36:56,781 --> 00:36:59,727
Every joint in my body
feels like it's on fire.
588
00:36:59,751 --> 00:37:01,695
Boy, you really
caught a nasty bug.
589
00:37:01,719 --> 00:37:06,667
Please! I'm 84 years old.
I feel like this every day.
590
00:37:06,691 --> 00:37:09,136
Never fear, Doctor Rose is here.
591
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:12,707
I made you both an
old-fashioned St. Olaf tonic.
592
00:37:12,731 --> 00:37:14,909
Guaranteed to get
you back on your feet
593
00:37:14,933 --> 00:37:17,211
and put hair on your chest.
594
00:37:17,235 --> 00:37:22,138
That's the one nasty side
effect they could never figure out.
595
00:37:23,875 --> 00:37:26,453
I'm feeling better. I think
I'll go check the stand.
596
00:37:26,477 --> 00:37:28,956
The big beach
festival is this weekend.
597
00:37:28,980 --> 00:37:31,025
We have to be open for that.
598
00:37:31,049 --> 00:37:33,027
If we don't make some
money, we'll lose our lease.
599
00:37:33,051 --> 00:37:35,196
Max, it is out of the question.
600
00:37:35,220 --> 00:37:37,598
She's right. We're too sick.
601
00:37:37,622 --> 00:37:40,034
The dream has ended. It's over.
602
00:37:40,058 --> 00:37:43,104
It's a dirty rotten shame
we couldn't find somebody
603
00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:45,172
who could find it
in their heart to help
604
00:37:45,196 --> 00:37:47,675
this absolutely
adorable old couple
605
00:37:47,699 --> 00:37:51,934
fulfill their dream
of a lifetime.
606
00:37:58,043 --> 00:38:01,489
Oh, all right,
all right. We will.
607
00:38:01,513 --> 00:38:03,324
You?
608
00:38:03,348 --> 00:38:05,893
Do you have any experience? No.
609
00:38:05,917 --> 00:38:07,884
You're hired.
610
00:38:14,593 --> 00:38:18,673
Boy, making pizza really brings
back a flood of childhood memories.
611
00:38:18,697 --> 00:38:20,942
Make a lot of pizza as a kid?
612
00:38:20,966 --> 00:38:23,543
No. My favorite
uncle, Uncle Gunther,
613
00:38:23,567 --> 00:38:26,168
used to sprinkle Parmesan
cheese on his hair.
614
00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:31,953
Why would he do that?
615
00:38:31,977 --> 00:38:33,553
He said it was the
perfect compliment
616
00:38:33,577 --> 00:38:36,011
to the croutons he'd
taped to his eyebrows.
617
00:38:37,782 --> 00:38:41,884
He had a Caesar
complex. Salad, not Julius.
618
00:38:43,054 --> 00:38:45,432
Rose, maybe you ought
to work on the knishes.
619
00:38:45,456 --> 00:38:50,705
Or did you have an uncle
who was a Mr. Potato Head?
620
00:38:50,729 --> 00:38:54,642
Dorothy, you're just cranky 'cause
you haven't had a cigarette in a while.
621
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,177
Maybe a little. But
I'll tell you the truth,
622
00:38:56,201 --> 00:38:58,479
I think I'm over
the worst part of it.
623
00:38:58,503 --> 00:39:01,982
That's great. I'm
really proud of you.
624
00:39:02,006 --> 00:39:05,887
You'd think you'd miss that
feeling you get with that first puff,
625
00:39:05,911 --> 00:39:10,091
that feeling of relaxation
when you hold it in,
626
00:39:10,115 --> 00:39:14,361
and then the sheer
exhilaration as you exhale slowly.
627
00:39:14,385 --> 00:39:16,230
No, not really.
628
00:39:16,254 --> 00:39:18,499
I've found other ways
to ease my tensions.
629
00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:21,269
Honey, would you hand me
that large saucepan over there?
630
00:39:21,293 --> 00:39:24,193
Oh, sure. No, the one
behind it, the really big one.
631
00:39:44,182 --> 00:39:47,561
You know, you really have
to give Max and Sophia credit.
632
00:39:47,585 --> 00:39:50,898
This business was their
dream, and they're going after it.
633
00:39:50,922 --> 00:39:52,533
I wish I'd done
that with my dream.
634
00:39:52,557 --> 00:39:55,503
Fine. Honey, would you check
on the pizzas one may be ready?
635
00:39:55,527 --> 00:39:57,504
Why don't you want
to hear my dream?
636
00:39:57,528 --> 00:40:01,142
Because it is always the
same thing with you, Blanche.
637
00:40:01,166 --> 00:40:04,912
Sex, sex, sex. I am
tired of hearing it.
638
00:40:04,936 --> 00:40:08,303
Maybe that's because you're
not getting any, Dorothy.
639
00:40:09,874 --> 00:40:12,775
Do you want the pot again, Rose?
640
00:40:16,381 --> 00:40:20,460
Well, it just so happens
that it was not about sex.
641
00:40:20,484 --> 00:40:23,397
There's a lot more than
that to Blanche Devereaux.
642
00:40:23,421 --> 00:40:26,133
My dream was to
be a great scientist.
643
00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:28,736
Work in a laboratory.
Do research.
644
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,272
Find a cure for the common cold.
645
00:40:31,296 --> 00:40:33,240
You know, Blanche,
I owe you an apology.
646
00:40:33,264 --> 00:40:36,376
I really thought... Then I'd knock
all those test tubes off the table,
647
00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:41,404
grab a Ph.D., and show those
lab rabbits how it's really done.
648
00:40:44,976 --> 00:40:47,476
It's gonna be a long afternoon.
649
00:40:54,485 --> 00:40:56,564
This is so depressing.
650
00:40:56,588 --> 00:40:59,633
We haven't had a
customer in two hours.
651
00:40:59,657 --> 00:41:03,036
Well, that's because
we need promotion.
652
00:41:03,060 --> 00:41:05,172
You know, Blanche is right.
653
00:41:05,196 --> 00:41:08,675
It doesn't matter how
good your product is,
654
00:41:08,699 --> 00:41:10,411
you have to know
how to promote it.
655
00:41:10,435 --> 00:41:13,113
That sure was the case
with Fritz Vanderhoeven,
656
00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:15,683
who owned the St. Olaf
Motor Coach Company.
657
00:41:15,707 --> 00:41:17,284
They built a car in St. Olaf?
658
00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:20,854
They sure did. The
Vanderhoeven Rocket.
659
00:41:20,878 --> 00:41:25,259
Oh, it was a beauty.
Fritz really had vision.
660
00:41:25,283 --> 00:41:29,384
Actually, he had double vision,
which is why it had eight tires.
661
00:41:32,189 --> 00:41:35,135
So, uh... What happened?
662
00:41:35,159 --> 00:41:38,138
It never got off the
ground. Bad promotion.
663
00:41:38,162 --> 00:41:40,741
Which was a shame,
because it's the first car
664
00:41:40,765 --> 00:41:43,411
to this day that
ran on free fuel.
665
00:41:43,435 --> 00:41:46,335
It was totally powered
by cow manure.
666
00:41:47,972 --> 00:41:51,184
I think a lot of people
were turned off by the ad -
667
00:41:51,208 --> 00:41:56,745
a cow sitting on a gas tank,
reading the Farmers' Almanac.
668
00:42:00,452 --> 00:42:03,597
How's it going? Ma,
what are you doing here?
669
00:42:03,621 --> 00:42:06,901
I feel better and I wanted to
get some air. How's business?
670
00:42:06,925 --> 00:42:09,069
We've only had two
customers all day.
671
00:42:09,093 --> 00:42:12,239
I think it's such a nice hot
day, they're all in the water.
672
00:42:12,263 --> 00:42:14,708
That's your problem? You can't
get the people out of the water?
673
00:42:14,732 --> 00:42:16,377
Amateurs.
674
00:42:16,401 --> 00:42:20,436
Let me show you how you run
a pizza-knish stand at the beach.
675
00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:28,989
Shark! Shark! Shark!
676
00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:32,693
Now they're out of
the water, start selling.
677
00:42:32,717 --> 00:42:35,551
Uh, pizza. Step right up.
678
00:42:41,659 --> 00:42:43,604
And after Ma got
everybody out of the water,
679
00:42:43,628 --> 00:42:45,940
people started trying our food.
680
00:42:45,964 --> 00:42:49,343
Before we knew it, there wasn't
a pizza or a knish left on the shelf.
681
00:42:49,367 --> 00:42:50,678
The place is a hit.
682
00:42:50,702 --> 00:42:53,680
Sophia, I am very proud of you.
683
00:42:53,704 --> 00:42:55,382
Not only did you
save the business,
684
00:42:55,406 --> 00:43:01,655
but you saved all those
people from the shark.
685
00:43:01,679 --> 00:43:05,326
Don't look so worried.
I handle the books.
686
00:43:08,652 --> 00:43:10,931
Hello? What?
687
00:43:10,955 --> 00:43:13,200
Oh, no... No,
we'll be right there.
688
00:43:13,224 --> 00:43:14,790
What's the matter?
689
00:43:17,228 --> 00:43:19,940
I don't understand it.
690
00:43:19,964 --> 00:43:22,242
How could the stand
burn to the ground?
691
00:43:22,266 --> 00:43:25,112
I don't know. We
were so careful.
692
00:43:25,136 --> 00:43:28,048
I have a confession to make.
693
00:43:28,072 --> 00:43:30,817
The reason I sent you two
ahead and said I'd lock up...
694
00:43:30,841 --> 00:43:34,688
is because I wanted a cigarette.
695
00:43:34,712 --> 00:43:37,357
And I guess I
didn't put it out. Oh...
696
00:43:37,381 --> 00:43:39,160
Well, I wouldn't worry.
697
00:43:39,184 --> 00:43:44,320
How much harm can it do?
The place already burnt down.
698
00:43:48,425 --> 00:43:53,407
Rose, you dummy, she means
her cigarette started the fire.
699
00:43:53,431 --> 00:43:57,510
Max, Ma, I have never
felt so bad in my entire life.
700
00:43:57,534 --> 00:43:59,579
I don't know what to say.
701
00:43:59,603 --> 00:44:03,117
It was an accident,
pussycat. Don't worry about it.
702
00:44:03,141 --> 00:44:04,384
That's it?
703
00:44:04,408 --> 00:44:06,954
That's all you have
to say? Uh-huh.
704
00:44:06,978 --> 00:44:11,992
Oh, Ma, please yell at me. Please
scream at me. Please make me feel guilty.
705
00:44:12,016 --> 00:44:15,396
I mean, if you don't say
anything, I'll feel twice as bad.
706
00:44:15,420 --> 00:44:19,200
I know. I'm not
an amateur at this.
707
00:44:19,224 --> 00:44:21,435
We finally found
the cause of the fire.
708
00:44:21,459 --> 00:44:24,671
Take me away. Cuff me.
709
00:44:24,695 --> 00:44:26,774
Well, I'd like to take
you to dinner first.
710
00:44:26,798 --> 00:44:29,677
Then we could
play the rest by ear.
711
00:44:29,701 --> 00:44:32,580
But business before pleasure.
712
00:44:32,604 --> 00:44:36,317
Your fire was caused by a
faulty coil in the pizza oven.
713
00:44:36,341 --> 00:44:39,286
I'll write up a report for
your insurance company.
714
00:44:39,310 --> 00:44:42,656
But this is wonderful news!
Dorothy, it wasn't your fault.
715
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:46,026
And with the insurance money,
Max and Sophia can build again,
716
00:44:46,050 --> 00:44:48,095
bigger and better than ever.
717
00:44:48,119 --> 00:44:50,931
From these ashes
a phoenix will rise!
718
00:44:50,955 --> 00:44:52,967
Stronger, healthier,
more vibrant,
719
00:44:52,991 --> 00:44:55,269
more successful than before.
720
00:44:55,293 --> 00:44:57,226
Eh.
721
00:45:01,332 --> 00:45:03,410
Why did you say "Eh"?
722
00:45:03,434 --> 00:45:06,880
It just came out. Me too.
723
00:45:06,904 --> 00:45:09,916
Did you have fun
rebuilding the old business?
724
00:45:09,940 --> 00:45:13,887
Eh... It always felt like
something was missing.
725
00:45:13,911 --> 00:45:16,189
I can tell you what that was.
726
00:45:16,213 --> 00:45:18,191
My Salvadore.
727
00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:20,249
And my Esther.
728
00:45:22,387 --> 00:45:25,766
Sophia, I think we
got a problem here.
729
00:45:25,790 --> 00:45:28,502
Is there anything
we can do, Sophia?
730
00:45:28,526 --> 00:45:31,071
Go get two cheesecakes
and wait up for me.
731
00:45:31,095 --> 00:45:34,363
I have a feeling the four of
us will be talking till dawn.
732
00:45:39,503 --> 00:45:42,749
Max, do you love me?
733
00:45:42,773 --> 00:45:45,085
Sure. You?
734
00:45:45,109 --> 00:45:47,487
I love you.
735
00:45:47,511 --> 00:45:49,490
Are you in love with me?
736
00:45:49,514 --> 00:45:53,761
What is this? The
Oprah Winfrey Show?
737
00:45:53,785 --> 00:45:55,929
You know what I mean.
738
00:45:55,953 --> 00:45:59,132
Are you in love with me the
way you were with Esther?
739
00:45:59,156 --> 00:46:04,338
No. Do you love me the way
you did Sal? I thought I did.
740
00:46:04,362 --> 00:46:08,442
But now I think I might have confused
a great friendship with a great love.
741
00:46:08,466 --> 00:46:10,911
Boy, if this was Ronald
Colman and Greer Garson,
742
00:46:10,935 --> 00:46:14,748
there wouldn't be a
dry eye in the house.
743
00:46:14,772 --> 00:46:18,018
This is the kind of mistake
you make when you're 19.
744
00:46:18,042 --> 00:46:21,544
It gives me hope to think
you can be just as dopey at 82.
745
00:46:22,646 --> 00:46:25,492
So. Do you want
to get a divorce?
746
00:46:25,516 --> 00:46:27,561
Hey, I'm Catholic.
747
00:46:27,585 --> 00:46:31,820
I don't need a divorce on my record
with St. Peter in spitting distance.
748
00:46:33,424 --> 00:46:35,903
I say we get separated.
749
00:46:35,927 --> 00:46:39,373
Fine. That's a better idea.
750
00:46:39,397 --> 00:46:43,711
I'll go back to Brooklyn. My
family's there, my grandkids.
751
00:46:43,735 --> 00:46:47,281
And I miss the old neighborhood.
752
00:46:47,305 --> 00:46:49,183
And I'll stay here in Miami.
753
00:46:49,207 --> 00:46:52,987
Ever since I lost my Sal, the
ladies I live with are my family.
754
00:46:53,011 --> 00:46:56,589
But that doesn't mean we can't
get together occasionally for...
755
00:46:56,613 --> 00:46:58,680
You know.
756
00:47:01,085 --> 00:47:03,464
You can do that when
you're just friends?
757
00:47:03,488 --> 00:47:07,022
Hey, I want to get in good with
St. Peter, I don't want his job.
758
00:47:08,659 --> 00:47:13,440
You know, me and Esther,
and you and Salvadore,
759
00:47:13,464 --> 00:47:15,609
we were all good together.
760
00:47:15,633 --> 00:47:17,732
The best.
761
00:47:20,337 --> 00:47:22,149
Hey, Mister.
762
00:47:22,173 --> 00:47:25,152
You want me to play "It Had
To Be You," for the two of you?
763
00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:28,956
I want you to play
it for the four of us.