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00:00:02,703 --> 00:00:07,017
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:11,021
♪ Traveled down the
road and back again
3
00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,489
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:12,513 --> 00:00:17,427
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:21,498
♪ And if you threw a party
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00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:25,835
♪ Invited everyone you knew
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00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:30,306
♪ You would see the
biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,242
♪ And the card
attached would say
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00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:38,170
♪ "Thank you for
being a friend" ♪
10
00:01:01,462 --> 00:01:02,772
What did you get?
11
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:04,641
I'm not sure. I
think it's coconut.
12
00:01:04,665 --> 00:01:08,979
It's white on the inside but there's
a red ring around the outside.
13
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Oh, that's my lipstick.
I don't like coconut.
14
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,817
That's disgusting!
15
00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:18,288
That piece of chocolate was in
your mouth and I just put it in mine.
16
00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:22,726
Big deal. We took a bite out of the same
piece of chocolate. Call C. Everett Koop.
17
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:26,730
I only breast-fed you for two years of
your life. You wanna talk disgusting?
18
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:29,299
That's disgusting. All
right. Enough already.
19
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,402
Don't take it out on me because your
date dumped you on Valentine's Day.
20
00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,003
Edgar did not dump me.
21
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:37,240
He and his lawyer were called
out of town on urgent business.
22
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,243
Oh, please. The man
sells birdbaths for a living.
23
00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:44,047
What happened - a sparrow
slipped and is suing him?
24
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:45,915
I can't believe it.
25
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,650
Raymond called. He's got the flu
26
00:01:47,674 --> 00:01:50,753
and he can't take me to the
big Valentine's Day dance.
27
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:54,091
I guess I'll be keeping
you company, Dorothy.
28
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:57,027
Why do you automatically
assume that I don't have a date?
29
00:01:57,051 --> 00:01:59,663
She assumes there are
seven days in a week.
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00:01:59,687 --> 00:02:01,231
Have a chocolate, Ma.
31
00:02:01,255 --> 00:02:03,200
The doctor didn't know
what he was talking about
32
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,469
when he said they
were bad for you.
33
00:02:05,493 --> 00:02:10,006
Well, have you ever seen anything more
devastatingly beautiful in all your life?
34
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:12,209
Gosh, let's see. Um...
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00:02:12,233 --> 00:02:14,878
That was a rhetorical
question, Rose.
36
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:17,447
When are your dates
picking you two up?
37
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,449
We don't have
any dates, Blanche.
38
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:24,521
No dates? On Valentine's
Day? Oh, you poor things.
39
00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,490
Oh, I feel awful for you.
40
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:32,128
Well, the important thing is to keep
your spirits up and don't get upset.
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00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:36,232
Oh.
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00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:40,603
Hello. Oh, hello, Steve.
I'm all ready to go...
43
00:02:40,627 --> 00:02:45,574
What are you talking about?
I spent all day getting ready.
44
00:02:45,598 --> 00:02:47,743
Oh, I could just
scratch your eyes out.
45
00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:51,848
I hate you, I hate you,
I hate you. Drop dead.
46
00:02:51,872 --> 00:02:55,018
What's wrong? Nothing.
47
00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:57,887
Well, don't wait up.
I'll, uh... Good night.
48
00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:02,192
Blanche. Steve called and
canceled your date, didn't he?
49
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,328
Yes. How did you
know that, Dorothy?
50
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,797
I'm clairvoyant, Rose.
51
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:12,657
You're so lucky. I get into
a pool, I sink like a stone.
52
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,605
But how did you
know about Blanche?
53
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,607
I cannot believe this.
54
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:21,044
Stuck here on Valentine's
Day with the three of you.
55
00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:23,547
Oh, this is the
worst day of my life.
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00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,470
Quit complaining. There
are worse things that
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00:03:25,494 --> 00:03:27,417
can happen to you on
Valentine's Day. I know.
58
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:29,953
Was there ever a Valentine's
Day when you didn't have a date?
59
00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:34,424
Please. Until I was 80 I was
combing geezers out of my blue rinse.
60
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:37,527
I'm talking about something
that happened a long time ago.
61
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:40,764
My Sal and I were driving my
father cross-country to a wedding
62
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,131
when we had some car trouble.
63
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:45,201
Of course, Sal and Papa
never got along anyway,
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00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,537
so there was trouble even
before we left Brooklyn.
65
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:53,009
But once we hit Chicago, the
car started making a strange noise.
66
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,878
What are you looking at?
67
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,913
You don't have to pretend
you know about cars.
68
00:03:56,937 --> 00:04:00,517
You wanna impress me, learn to
eat with a fork instead of a bread crust.
69
00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:03,954
If you ask me, he ran out
of gas. Nobody asked you.
70
00:04:03,978 --> 00:04:06,555
Was I talking to you?
I'm talking to my daughter.
71
00:04:06,579 --> 00:04:10,126
To me, you don't exist.
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00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:12,696
Then who's driving you to your
niece's wedding in California?
73
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,566
You're upsetting Papa. Please
find a mechanic. It's freezing in here.
74
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,767
Of course it's freezing in here.
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00:04:18,791 --> 00:04:21,537
Mr. Ziti-for-Brains
decides to take a shortcut
76
00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:24,941
through Chicago in
the dead of winter.
77
00:04:24,965 --> 00:04:27,276
Pop, he didn't plan it
that way. He lost the map.
78
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,645
He didn't know
where he was going.
79
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,313
I could've told him
where he was going.
80
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:33,416
I told you where he was
going the first time I met him.
81
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,751
Nowhere. That's
where he was going.
82
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:38,622
You married a bum.
83
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:41,024
Excuse me. We're having
a problem with the car.
84
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:42,825
I'm sorry, I'm starting
my lunch break.
85
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,495
When I get back, I got
three jobs ahead of yous.
86
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,197
Beautiful. Just what I
always dreamed about -
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00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:51,301
spending the winter in Chicago.
88
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:54,871
And, of course, the
volcano season in Pompeii.
89
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,173
Look, uh, here's two bucks.
90
00:04:57,197 --> 00:04:59,742
Would you lend me your
tools while you're gone?
91
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:02,345
Help yourself, buddy. Yeah.
92
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:05,648
When you want a beer you ask
me which end of the opener to use.
93
00:05:05,672 --> 00:05:07,284
What the hell are you
gonna do with his tools?
94
00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:09,586
Relax. I'll have us
out of here in no time.
95
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:12,629
The same words he used
when he moved you into
96
00:05:12,653 --> 00:05:15,425
that crummy cold-water
flat 12 years ago.
97
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:17,494
Papa, he's trying his best.
98
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:21,231
And that doesn't scare you?
99
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:24,668
You're not being fair. You've never
really given Salvadore a chance.
100
00:05:24,692 --> 00:05:28,138
You know, I don't understand
what you see in this man.
101
00:05:28,162 --> 00:05:32,042
It's not something I can explain.
Everything you say about him is true.
102
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:34,377
Lord knows, he's
not terribly bright.
103
00:05:34,401 --> 00:05:37,046
He's not terribly good-looking
and not much of a provider.
104
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:40,482
But I love him anyway.
I don't know why.
105
00:05:40,506 --> 00:05:44,020
It's... the little things.
You know what I mean?
106
00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:48,091
I gotta take a leak.
107
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:52,495
Can you find the bathroom?
If not, I'll find a wall.
108
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,764
Sal, you having any
luck under there?
109
00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:58,167
To be perfectly honest, no.
110
00:05:58,191 --> 00:06:01,638
No? You botchagaloop.
Can't you do anything right?
111
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:04,140
I'm cold. I'm tired. I'm hungry.
112
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,164
You're hungry?
113
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,279
Here. What's this?
114
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:12,115
Today's Thursday.
Valentine's Day.
115
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:14,584
Valentine's Day is...
116
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:18,588
Wait. We left Brooklyn
the 11th, so this...
117
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:19,855
Sal.
118
00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:23,292
You planned this three days
ago before we left Brooklyn.
119
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:28,764
Yeah. I hid it under the seat
when I was loading the suitcases.
120
00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:31,568
Happy Valentine's Day, Sophia.
121
00:06:31,592 --> 00:06:34,971
I think this is what I was
trying to explain to Papa.
122
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,740
Come here, you big lug.
123
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:42,846
OK, I'm ready. Let's go.
Papa, what was that noise?
124
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:45,115
My guess is machine guns.
125
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:48,151
What? I'm in the back
looking for the john, OK?
126
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:50,887
I see a bunch of guys
lined up facing the wall,
127
00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,722
so I figure the
toilet is broken,
128
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:55,158
so I'm gonna wait in place
behind one of these guys.
129
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,260
Suddenly, someone's
yelling to me,
130
00:06:57,284 --> 00:06:59,462
"Get outta there. You
don't belong here."
131
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,197
I say, "Wait a minute.
132
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:05,402
I've peed against better
walls than this in my time,"
133
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,837
when I see he's
holding a machine gun.
134
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,973
So I decide to take
his advice. I move.
135
00:07:10,997 --> 00:07:17,046
Rat-a-tat-tat, everybody's falling
- like flies on your Aunt Regine.
136
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,349
You're letting your
imagination run wild, Papa.
137
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,384
This is Chicago, not Sicily.
138
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,720
You're just a little
homesick, that's all.
139
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,724
I saw another garage a
couple of blocks away.
140
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:30,748
The car's not running.
Hey, who cares? I am.
141
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:35,130
Ma, that never happened.
142
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:38,134
You were not at the St.
Valentine's Day massacre.
143
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:41,671
I didn't say I was at the St.
Valentine's Day massacre.
144
00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:46,709
I said I was at a St.
Valentine's Day massacre.
145
00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:51,047
It was Chicago, and in those
days Chicago stood for two things.
146
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:54,417
What were they? How the hell should
I know? What am I, Studs Terkel?
147
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:55,885
I forgot.
148
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:59,889
Well, let's not just sit around
wasting time eating chocolates.
149
00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:02,692
Let's do something constructive.
150
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:06,362
You wanna eat some ice
cream? Mm, that's not a bad idea.
151
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:09,999
OK, Rose, go get it. I'm too
weak from disappointment.
152
00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:12,168
I'm disappointed, too.
153
00:08:12,192 --> 00:08:13,970
So what? Dorothy,
make her get it.
154
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,706
Get it, Rose.
155
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,375
Why are you two
being so mean to me?
156
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:21,211
Because we're in bad moods.
157
00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:25,548
And because we remember what
you did to us last Valentine's Day.
158
00:08:25,572 --> 00:08:27,817
You promised you'd
never bring that up again.
159
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,318
What happened?
160
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:32,121
You don't remember what
happened last Valentine's Day?
161
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,889
Please. I'm 82.
162
00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:37,826
Be thankful I remember not to wear
my underwear outside of my dress.
163
00:08:37,850 --> 00:08:40,663
Most of the time.
Tell your story.
164
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,265
Last St. Valentine's
Day the three of us
165
00:08:43,289 --> 00:08:45,869
thought it might be fun to
go away for the weekend.
166
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:49,005
So we went away to this cute
little woodsy mountain retreat.
167
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:53,342
Well, when we got there
were we in for a surprise.
168
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:56,645
Isn't this lodge great?
Oh, boy, it sure is.
169
00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:58,547
It's just so beautiful up here.
170
00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:01,217
The fresh air, the
wide open spaces...
171
00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:05,054
You know, being in the mountains
always puts me in a romantic mood.
172
00:09:05,078 --> 00:09:07,891
Dorothy, did you ever make
love on top of a mountain?
173
00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:13,918
No. The closest I ever came was making
love of top of a fat guy called Old Smoky.
174
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,355
Let's check in.
175
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,374
Hello, ladies. Welcome
to Sunny Meadows.
176
00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:28,211
Oh, thank you. We... Whoa!
177
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:30,880
His klingenspritzer's showing.
178
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:33,616
Excuse me. Where would
you like me to put this?
179
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:37,353
Oh, well, buy me a
drink and we'll talk.
180
00:09:37,377 --> 00:09:39,422
Blanche. I'm sorry.
181
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:43,247
Um, just hold onto it. Uh,
them. I mean the bags.
182
00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:49,098
Where do you put your tips?
183
00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,968
Who cares? What
is going on here?
184
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,770
Obviously there's
some confusion.
185
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:56,472
Sunny Meadows is a
clothing-optional resort.
186
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,943
You mean a nudist camp?
Oh, well, we didn't know that.
187
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:02,078
Who made the reservation?
188
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,348
Well, don't look at me. Rose,
you made the reservation.
189
00:10:05,372 --> 00:10:09,052
I know. I just don't
want you looking at me.
190
00:10:09,076 --> 00:10:12,855
Look, I'm terribly sorry about
the mix-up, but this is not for us.
191
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:14,390
We'd like to leave.
192
00:10:14,414 --> 00:10:16,459
I'm afraid you're with
us for the night, ladies.
193
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,329
The bus doesn't leave down the
mountain till tomorrow morning.
194
00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:21,830
Ladies, may I show
you to your room?
195
00:10:21,854 --> 00:10:23,199
Just point the way.
196
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:26,257
Oh, good, it's on
the second floor.
197
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:34,911
Thanks a lot, Rose. Oh, this
is a great Valentine's weekend.
198
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:38,348
Stuck in a hotel at a
nudist camp for ten hours.
199
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:42,485
I'm sorry, Dorothy. It's all my
fault. I misunderstood the brochure.
200
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:45,854
"Fun in the buff at
a mountain retreat.
201
00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:48,391
"Hike, swim and play volleyball
202
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:52,795
while the sun beats
down on your fanny."
203
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:57,934
Call David Horowitz. I mean, how can
they get away with this misrepresentation?
204
00:10:57,958 --> 00:11:00,570
I don't understand how
people can run around
205
00:11:00,594 --> 00:11:03,072
showing their naked
bodies to total strangers.
206
00:11:03,096 --> 00:11:04,907
It's disgusting. It's sickening.
207
00:11:04,931 --> 00:11:08,211
It's terrible. Yoo-hoo!
208
00:11:08,235 --> 00:11:11,147
Blanche, would you please get away
from that window for two seconds?
209
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,382
Come here. I want you to
see this guy playing volleyball.
210
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:16,986
Blanche, will you stop
acting like a teenager?
211
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:20,256
You have seen naked men
before. What is the big deal?
212
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,858
Whoa.
213
00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:26,395
Is that a legal serve?
214
00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:29,899
Everybody seems to be
having such a good time.
215
00:11:29,923 --> 00:11:34,837
You know, the more
you stare at everyone,
216
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,707
the more natural it seems.
217
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:39,975
I have been thinking
exactly the same thing.
218
00:11:39,999 --> 00:11:44,113
Hey, why don't we just put our
inhibitions aside and have some fun?
219
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:47,116
Yeah. I mean, we don't
know anybody here,
220
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,385
and we'll never see any
of these people again.
221
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,454
I'm really getting kinda hungry.
222
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,656
I wouldn't mind getting
something to eat.
223
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:56,725
All right. Then I say we
just cast caution to the wind,
224
00:11:56,749 --> 00:11:59,062
get butt naked and
have a good time.
225
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:03,087
If I had a dollar for every time you
said that, I'd be a wealthy woman.
226
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,340
I'm starting to chicken out.
227
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,577
Now, Rose. Don't
you be self-conscious.
228
00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:16,212
There's probably
lots of people here
229
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:20,717
with bodies worse than
yours and Dorothy's.
230
00:12:20,741 --> 00:12:24,809
Well, then... let's just do it.
231
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,966
OK.
232
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:39,635
OK, we're almost
there. Here we go.
233
00:12:39,659 --> 00:12:40,736
No, wait a minute.
234
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,404
Blanche, come
on, this is ridiculous.
235
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,606
We can't go through
an entire dinner
236
00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,609
holding these
hearts in front of us.
237
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:51,013
Dorothy's right. How
will we cut our meat?
238
00:12:51,037 --> 00:12:54,383
Well, look, either we
do this or we don't do it.
239
00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:55,585
Now, what's it gonna be?
240
00:12:55,609 --> 00:12:58,320
We go at the count of three.
241
00:12:58,344 --> 00:12:59,922
Ready?
242
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:03,580
One, two, three!
243
00:13:12,459 --> 00:13:16,060
Excuse me, ladies, but we
always dress for dinner here.
244
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,575
And in your case,
we'd appreciate it
245
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:22,099
if you'd do that
for all three meals.
246
00:13:34,180 --> 00:13:38,260
Oh, look, what are we sitting
around here all depressed about?
247
00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:43,065
Just 'cause it's Valentine's Day and
our dates dumped us? Yes, Blanche.
248
00:13:43,089 --> 00:13:46,869
I wanted to hear it out loud before
I had another bowl of ice cream.
249
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,971
I have an idea.
250
00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:52,842
Let's go out to dinner and
celebrate Valentine's Day ourselves.
251
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:56,145
Just 'cause we don't have dates
doesn't mean we can't have a good time.
252
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,681
It doesn't? Rose is right.
253
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:00,683
I mean, this is
hardly a disaster.
254
00:14:00,707 --> 00:14:04,387
We're not the only women who
don't have dates on Valentine's Day.
255
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:05,488
Ma, you wanna join us?
256
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:08,357
I can't. I have a date.
257
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,492
You do?
258
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:11,493
She's making that
up to annoy us.
259
00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,997
No, I'm not. I have a date.
260
00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:16,732
What's his name?
261
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,835
I can't tell you.
262
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,803
Have I met him?
263
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,826
No, he's from outta town.
264
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:27,476
Where is he taking you?
265
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:30,146
I'm not allowed to
say. Security reasons.
266
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,881
Ma, none of this is
true. OK. I'll tell you.
267
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:36,874
It's Julio Iglesias.
You satisfied?
268
00:14:38,645 --> 00:14:40,623
Make the reservation for four.
269
00:14:40,647 --> 00:14:42,925
She'll tell us the truth
when she gets hungry.
270
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,360
That is the truth.
271
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,961
He was visiting his
aunt at the center.
272
00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:48,197
He said he liked my spunk.
273
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:53,002
I guess it's not easy for anybody to
accept being dateless on Valentine's Day.
274
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,170
What's so special
about this day anyway?
275
00:14:55,194 --> 00:14:58,073
Honey, it's the most
romantic day of the year.
276
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:01,410
George proposed to
me on Valentine's Day.
277
00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:02,912
We know. You told us.
278
00:15:02,936 --> 00:15:06,415
So what? You don't
have anywhere to go.
279
00:15:06,439 --> 00:15:08,617
I wasn't gonna tell
you about that night,
280
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:12,054
I was gonna tell you about
another night many years later.
281
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:15,257
Same little romantic bar
where George proposed.
282
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:19,462
My finest champagne...
and two glasses.
283
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,730
Very romantic.
284
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:24,299
Well, it is St.
Valentine's Day, after all.
285
00:15:24,323 --> 00:15:27,003
You can pour both of them.
I'm not expecting anybody.
286
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:30,406
It is St. Valentine's Day,
lady, not St. Patrick's Day.
287
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:33,009
I'm not gonna drink them
both. I'm just celebrating.
288
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:37,313
My husband proposed to me in
this very bar on St. Valentine's Day.
289
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:40,816
After that, we sort of made it a
tradition and came back every year,
290
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,154
so since he passed away I've just
continued the tradition by myself.
291
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:47,089
Oh.
292
00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:50,659
That's so romantic,
proposing over champagne.
293
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,495
I never think of
things like that.
294
00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,032
I'm gonna ruin this
whole night, I know it.
295
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:59,101
Wait, don't tell me you're
thinking of popping the question
296
00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:01,670
right here on St. Valentine's
Day, just like George did?
297
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,640
Yeah. But now I'm thinking
maybe it's a bad idea.
298
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,041
No, no. Don't be nervous.
299
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,043
Don't you see? This
was meant to happen.
300
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:11,547
I'm here to help you. I can tell
you everything George said to me.
301
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:15,117
I don't know if that will work.
Sure it will. Oh, come on, now.
302
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:18,753
We may be from different generations
but some things never change.
303
00:16:18,777 --> 00:16:20,922
Love is love, period.
304
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:24,793
Yeah, I suppose, but
every couple is different.
305
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:28,698
You just listen. We
were sitting right here.
306
00:16:28,722 --> 00:16:31,533
George took my
hand in both of his
307
00:16:31,557 --> 00:16:35,304
and looked deep
into my eyes and...
308
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:39,742
and he said, "You know,
Blanche, you're a very special lady."
309
00:16:39,766 --> 00:16:43,112
And then he said how he
just couldn't bear the thought
310
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:48,150
of spending even one day out of the
rest of his life without me right there.
311
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,119
And then he said:
312
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:54,523
"Blanche, would you be my wife?"
313
00:16:54,547 --> 00:16:59,628
And... after I stopped
crying I said yes.
314
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:03,165
Blanche, you're right.
Love is love, period.
315
00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:06,635
Some things never change.
I'm gonna go through with it.
316
00:17:06,659 --> 00:17:11,107
Well, good for you. Here.
And thank you for listening.
317
00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:14,243
Oh, Victor, come
on. Let's get a table.
318
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:17,201
There's something
I have to tell you.
319
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:28,512
Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe
some things do change.
320
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:33,529
Blanche, what a
lovely, sweet story.
321
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:38,401
Tell me, did his
girlfriend ever show up?
322
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:42,038
You're right, Blanche.
Some things never change.
323
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:44,440
My date'll be here
soon. I'd better get ready.
324
00:17:44,464 --> 00:17:46,475
Oh, Ma, will you knock it off?
325
00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:50,112
Ah, you're right. At 82
what am I gonna get ready?
326
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:54,683
I always have my purse, and I shouldn't
pee until he's got the motor running.
327
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:57,953
At any age you oughta be
ready for your date, Sophia.
328
00:17:57,977 --> 00:17:59,855
Blanche, she
doesn't have a date.
329
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,124
No, I was thinking
more about that time
330
00:18:02,148 --> 00:18:04,326
that the three of us
were getting ready
331
00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:07,963
to go away on that Valentine's
Day cruise with our steadies.
332
00:18:07,987 --> 00:18:09,498
Oh, I remember that.
333
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:13,168
And we were picking up some
odds and ends at the drugstore.
334
00:18:13,192 --> 00:18:16,872
OK, we have the
suntan lotion, Chap Stick,
335
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:20,242
and half a dozen cheap,
tawdry romance novels.
336
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,778
We're all set. We have
everything for the cruise.
337
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:25,014
Maybe we don't have
everything we need.
338
00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:26,949
Why? What are we missing?
339
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:29,652
We are going away for a
romantic weekend to the Bahamas
340
00:18:29,676 --> 00:18:31,486
with Jeff and Rich and Randy.
341
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,789
In this day and age it
might be a good idea
342
00:18:33,813 --> 00:18:36,424
to take along some protection.
343
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,962
What kind of protection?
344
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:43,666
Two armed Pinkerton guards.
345
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:46,135
No, Blanche is
talking about, uh...
346
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:50,206
A Nestlé's Crunch?
347
00:18:50,230 --> 00:18:52,241
One over.
348
00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:54,243
An enema bag?
349
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:57,113
To the right. Dentu-Grip?
350
00:18:57,137 --> 00:19:01,851
Condoms, Rose. Condoms,
condoms, condoms!
351
00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,919
Calm down, lady.
352
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:06,043
You just get outta prison?
353
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:12,428
Girls. What do you think?
354
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,896
Well, it's not a
bad idea, but...
355
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,433
I'm a little embarrassed.
Oh, me too.
356
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:20,369
Embarrassed? There's no
reason to be embarrassed.
357
00:19:20,393 --> 00:19:23,872
These are discreet professionals.
This is a private matter.
358
00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:31,546
Whatever we buy is
nobody's business but our own.
359
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:33,615
I'd like a package
of these, please.
360
00:19:33,639 --> 00:19:36,740
And, uh, I'll take these.
361
00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:45,261
And I'll take these.
362
00:19:45,285 --> 00:19:48,097
Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?
363
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:51,922
Uh, Joe, I need a price
check on some condoms.
364
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:59,963
These three ladies here want a couple
of boxes of the King George prophylactics.
365
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:05,647
The lambskins or
the ultrasensitive?
366
00:20:05,671 --> 00:20:10,585
Two of 'em have the lambskins
and the blonde has the ultrasensitive,
367
00:20:10,609 --> 00:20:12,242
in black.
368
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:24,567
The lambskins are $12.95
and the black's a dollar extra.
369
00:20:24,591 --> 00:20:28,370
Look at all these people staring
at us. Oh, this is humiliating.
370
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:30,506
I've never been so
embarrassed in my life.
371
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:35,144
All right, just what in hell
are all of you staring at?
372
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:38,113
Haven't you ever seen
three vibrant, healthy,
373
00:20:38,137 --> 00:20:40,148
sexually active women before?
374
00:20:40,172 --> 00:20:44,486
We are embarking on a weekend cruise
with some longtime gentlemen friends,
375
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:48,724
and if we decide to be
intimate, then we'll be prepared.
376
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:53,228
We're not embarrassed, we're not
uncomfortable, we are not humiliated.
377
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:56,031
We're gonna walk outta here
today with our heads held high,
378
00:20:56,055 --> 00:21:02,025
secure in the knowledge that what we have
done is morally and socially responsible.
379
00:21:06,399 --> 00:21:07,475
Isn't that right, girls?
380
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:09,077
I have no idea
who this woman is.
381
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,621
I bought these for my brother.
382
00:21:12,538 --> 00:21:14,572
Rose. Rose!
383
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:23,158
I was never so
embarrassed in my entire life.
384
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:26,328
But it did turn out to be a
lovely Valentine's cruise.
385
00:21:26,352 --> 00:21:27,829
Well, it did not.
386
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,132
We never even had
to use those condoms.
387
00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:34,203
You didn't? I used
every one of mine.
388
00:21:34,227 --> 00:21:35,838
Late at night I
filled 'em with water
389
00:21:35,862 --> 00:21:39,808
and threw 'em at the
people in the limbo line.
390
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:45,269
I wonder who that could
be? Probably my date.
391
00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:56,080
Don't make a fuss over him. Your fiery
Latin entertainers have a very short fuse.
392
00:21:57,684 --> 00:21:59,628
Happy Valentine's Day.
393
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:01,963
Raymond, I thought
you were sick.
394
00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:03,831
And I thought you had to work.
395
00:22:03,855 --> 00:22:06,802
You told me you had a
last-minute emergency.
396
00:22:06,826 --> 00:22:10,839
So they're all liars. That's an asset
when you're planning a surprise like this.
397
00:22:10,863 --> 00:22:12,908
We've got reservations
for dinner and dancing.
398
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:15,811
Ma, I bet you were in on
this all along, weren't you?
399
00:22:15,835 --> 00:22:19,248
Of course I was. These
dimwits' idea of romance
400
00:22:19,272 --> 00:22:21,583
is a Coors Light and
a Love Boat rerun.
401
00:22:21,607 --> 00:22:23,519
All right, let's go. The
limousine's waiting.
402
00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:25,420
You little devils, you.
403
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:28,957
Wait a minute. Honey, are you
sure you don't wanna join us?
404
00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:30,993
You got a marzipan
bar in your ear?
405
00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:35,864
I told you. I've got a
date with... you-know-who.
406
00:22:35,888 --> 00:22:38,333
Ma, we love you.
407
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:43,060
Yeah, right. Oh...
You fell for it. I did.
408
00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:58,220
Julio? Hello, Sophia.
409
00:22:58,244 --> 00:23:01,056
Why didn't you use the front
door? I didn't want to be seen.
410
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:06,016
Well, what's the point in going out with
Julio Iglesias if no one's gonna see us?
411
00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:16,505
Tell me. No.
412
00:23:16,529 --> 00:23:18,673
Once we hit the deli,
413
00:23:18,697 --> 00:23:21,810
I'd appreciate it if you'd serenade
me with "Begin the Beguine."
414
00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:24,379
All right. We sing
together. Oh, come on.
415
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:25,547
Let's try it together.
416
00:23:25,571 --> 00:23:26,982
♪ When they beguine
417
00:23:27,006 --> 00:23:30,340
♪ The beguine
That's it. Perfect.