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♪ Thank you for being a friend
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00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:10,387
♪ Traveled down the
road and back again
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00:00:10,411 --> 00:00:12,456
♪ Your heart is true
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00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:17,394
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
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♪ And if you threw a party
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♪ Invited everyone you knew
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♪ You would see the
biggest gift would be from me
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♪ And the card
attached would say
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♪ "Thank you for
being a friend" ♪
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He should have been
here a half-hour ago.
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Dorothy, according to
the rules of etiquette,
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you should never wait more
than 20 minutes for a date.
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She's already waited six months
for a date. What's another half-hour?
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I hate blind dates.
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You know, Ma, I never
would have agreed to this
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if it wasn't your best friend
Edna's good-looking doctor nephew.
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Aw, he wasn't available anymore.
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He decided to buy a
woman from the Philippines.
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Actually, he bought two women.
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He wanted an extra
for formal occasions.
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Then who is this guy? To tell
you the truth, I was on the bus...
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Wait a minute.
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You set Dorothy up with
some guy you met on a bus?
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Please, it wasn't
that glamorous.
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I saw a sign on the bus.
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It said, "Lonely? Can't make
connections with that special person?"
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So I took $20 out of your
purse, sent in a picture,
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they ran it through the computer
and boom, you got a social life.
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Ma, I cannot believe you sent
my picture in to a total stranger.
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I didn't send in your picture, I sent
the picture that came with my wallet.
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Ma, I am furious with you.
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Think how mad your
date's gonna be when he
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finds out he's not going
out with Janet Gaynor.
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Oh, God!
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Dorothy, just remember how
important first impressions are, honey.
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Stand up straight. Put
your left hand on your hip.
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Now, strike a very
sexy, sultry pose.
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Hello.
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Hi, Dorothy.
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What's wrong with your hip?
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I was hoping you'd
be my date, Rose.
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Oh, gee, I'm busy tonight. But maybe
you could try me again next week.
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What's in the box, Rose?
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Brochures for the
"Be a Pal" program.
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I'm mailing them out.
How does that work?
46
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Well, you just put 'em in an envelope
and you stick a stamp on them.
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Not that, you idiot. Oh,
the "Be a Pal" program?
48
00:03:02,048 --> 00:03:05,762
Well, each week, you get a
motherless girl and be her pal.
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Help her with her homework
and take her to movies
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and have dinner together.
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That's very interesting. Maybe
I could get involved with that.
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You, Blanche? Sure.
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Why, nothing would be more
satisfying than to be of loving service
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to a lonely, motherless child.
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Of course, I'll have to see pictures
of the father before I commit.
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If you're interested, I could call
and see about sending over two girls.
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Great. Count me in.
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Hi, I'm Eddie.
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It took a computer
to come up with this?
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I'm Dorothy. These are my
friends, Blanche and Rose.
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Hello, there. How do you do?
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00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:02,418
Eddie, I hope you're not
too terribly disappointed.
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00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:06,323
My mother wasn't exactly
honest in sending in that picture.
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00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:07,624
I knew that.
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00:04:07,648 --> 00:04:11,461
I have quite a few Janet Gaynors
in frames around my house.
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00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:15,064
Believe me, when you've been in a
deep depression for a year and a half,
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00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,922
nothing fazes you.
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00:04:18,325 --> 00:04:20,704
Well...
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00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:24,341
Eddie, what wonderful things
have you got planned for tonight?
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00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:27,677
Nothing. I was gonna cancel,
but my therapist wouldn't let me.
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Perhaps if we spoke
to him together?
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I'm sorry. I'm still
not really recovered.
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You see, after 25 years of marriage, my
wife Roberta sent me a Dear John letter.
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00:04:40,147 --> 00:04:45,450
That's terrible. Married 25 years and
she doesn't know your name is Eddie?
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Well, I guess I
have to feed you.
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Let's go look for a
place to eat, Roberta.
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00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,646
No, no. Her name's Dorothy.
Your ex-wife is Roberta.
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00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:05,804
Sure. Rub my nose in it.
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00:05:13,213 --> 00:05:16,793
Morning, Blanche. You're up
early. I'm making a list of things
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00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,163
to do with our little pals.
I just hope I'm good at it.
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00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,699
With all that enthusiasm,
I'm sure you will be.
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I just wanna make a difference
in the lives of these youngsters.
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I wanna teach 'em,
I wanna mold 'em.
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I wanna become a positive influence
on every aspect of their young lives.
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It is only one afternoon
a week, isn't it?
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00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,953
Dorothy Zbornak,
are you just getting in?
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00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:47,213
No, Blanche. I got up
early and went jogging
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in a park with a
really strict dress code.
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00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,751
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I need some coffee.
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00:05:57,557 --> 00:06:00,637
What's the number of the
police station? Is anything wrong?
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00:06:00,661 --> 00:06:03,440
No, I just wanna find out
where I can buy the best donuts.
92
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:08,211
Of course something is wrong!
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00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,279
Dorothy never came home.
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00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:13,138
Yes, she did.
She's in the kitchen.
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00:06:14,908 --> 00:06:18,287
All right, spill it. I want
details. Yes, so do I.
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00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:21,458
Oh, me too. Well,
there is not much to tell.
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Eddie took me to the restaurant
where he had met his ex-wife Roberta.
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00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,531
I would think going there
would just remind him of her.
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00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:35,305
It did. Especially since she owns it,
runs it and calls the place Roberta's.
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As she was seating us, he
begged her to come back to him.
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00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:41,477
And after he had wept
over his crab cakes,
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I begged her to
come back to him.
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I guess you're not
gonna see him again.
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Oh, yes. Yes, I will. What?
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Listen, pussycat, it's been a long
time since you've been out on a date.
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And it's quite possible you can no
longer judge a good one from a bad one.
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So let me be of help.
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Bad date, Dorothy.
Bad, bad date.
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What did you do
the rest of the night?
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I tried to comfort him. I
must have lost track of time
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'cause next thing I
knew it was morning.
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Oh, I better get some rest.
We're meeting for lunch.
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I don't get it. They don't seem
to have anything in common.
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I guess it's just like that
old saying: opposites attract.
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That's very true.
Back in St. Olaf
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Ollie Canudenspringle and his wife
Bridget were opposites in every way.
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I mean, he was
fat, she was thin.
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He was neat, she was sloppy.
He was tall, she was short.
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He was cheap, she
was extravagant.
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He was... Opposites.
We get the picture.
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00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:58,955
Anyway, I'll never forget the time
they sang at our annual talent show,
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right after the
herring juggling act.
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You mean to tell me that
somebody actually juggled herring?
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No.
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00:08:07,386 --> 00:08:10,321
It was the herring
who did the juggling.
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Tiny little Ginsu knives.
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00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,841
Really very dangerous.
I mean, one false move,
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00:08:17,865 --> 00:08:20,665
they could have
filleted themselves.
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00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:24,769
I hate you.
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00:08:27,807 --> 00:08:29,674
Anyway...
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Oh, good. Here they are.
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Come in, girls.
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I'm Marla, this is Jackie. We're
from the "Be a Pal" program.
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Yes, and I'm Blanche.
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00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:48,137
I just knew when I heard your voice
on the phone that you'd be pretty.
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00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:51,840
Oh, well, thank you.
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00:08:51,864 --> 00:08:55,567
Rose, this is my
little pal Jackie.
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00:08:57,237 --> 00:09:00,917
And your little pal Marla.
Hi, Marla. Come on, sit down.
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00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:04,387
Now, is there anything special
you girls feel like doing today?
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00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,489
Would it be too
much to see a movie?
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00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:09,525
Oh, no. We can go
see Oliver & Company
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00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,160
or Roger Rabbit.
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00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:15,898
Or Tequila Sunrise. I hear Mel
Gibson takes his shirt off a lot.
144
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:21,237
You know, Jackie, I think you
and I are gonna get along just fine.
145
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,573
Well, just let me
freshen my makeup.
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00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:25,708
Girls, why don't you come
with me and I'll show you how
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00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:31,381
I transform myself into a
fresh-faced, innocent, young thing?
148
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,816
Could you skip the
"innocent" part, Blanche?
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00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,974
The show starts in two hours.
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00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:46,262
Hi, Rose. Blanche around?
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00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:49,599
She's showing the girls some makeup
tricks before we go to the movies.
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00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:53,236
Anything I can do? No, thanks.
I need to talk to somebody.
153
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,293
Oh, I get it.
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You have a problem and you don't think I'm
sophisticated or worldly enough to help.
155
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:06,849
Oh, Rose, I'm sorry.
You got a minute?
156
00:10:06,873 --> 00:10:08,906
Sure, Dorothy.
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00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,388
It's about Eddie.
158
00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,457
You know, I've been
seeing him for a week now.
159
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,559
I'm having a
relationship with him
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00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:20,563
like I've never had with
a man before in my life.
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00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:22,998
It is purely physical.
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00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:28,938
Eddie is the greatest
lover I have ever had.
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00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:34,932
Come on, Dorothy. If we're gonna
do this, you have to tell me the truth.
164
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:39,581
No, I am telling you the truth.
165
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:42,718
Honey, there is more to
Eddie than meets the eye.
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00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:47,690
But the only thing we have in
common is under the sheets.
167
00:10:47,714 --> 00:10:50,648
What's under the sheets?
168
00:10:55,922 --> 00:11:00,024
His cappuccino maker.
169
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:06,041
Sex, Rose. I am talking sex.
170
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,511
We don't go to dinner,
we don't go to the movies,
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00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:12,248
we just go to bed
and it is terrific.
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00:11:12,272 --> 00:11:15,539
All that and cappuccino too?
173
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:22,025
Well, what's the problem?
174
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,327
Did I say there was a problem?
175
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,095
You wanted to talk about it.
176
00:11:26,119 --> 00:11:29,432
Can't one have a discussion
without there being a problem?
177
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:32,468
I thought maybe you
were feeling guilty. Guilty?
178
00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:36,839
I have nothing to feel guilty about.
I am having the time of my life.
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00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:39,909
I just wanted to, you
know, say it out loud.
180
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:42,578
But, listen, honey. Don't
mention this to anybody.
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00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:46,249
It's a thing that most people
probably wouldn't understand.
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00:11:46,273 --> 00:11:49,652
Don't worry, Dorothy. Rose
Nylund can keep a secret.
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00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:53,322
Do you know what the name
Nylund means in Norwegian?
184
00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:54,424
No.
185
00:11:54,448 --> 00:11:58,149
Well, I'm not telling you.
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00:12:05,124 --> 00:12:09,405
How do I look? Great, Dorothy.
You going out with Eddie?
187
00:12:09,429 --> 00:12:11,140
Yes. Oh, by the way, Blanche,
188
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:13,776
I borrowed your gold
earrings, if that's OK?
189
00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:16,212
Oh, it's fine, but I do
think I should caution you -
190
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,336
they were meant for petite ears.
191
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:27,344
They'll just have to do until
Disney unveils their Dumbo line.
192
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:32,228
I'd better grab something to
eat before Eddie gets here.
193
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,764
Wait a minute. Why don't
you just go out to eat?
194
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:37,388
There never seems
to be enough time.
195
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:46,375
You know, there's something
rotten in the state of Denmark.
196
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:49,945
It's their cheese.
197
00:12:49,969 --> 00:12:53,883
They refuse to
use preservatives.
198
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,952
I mean between
Dorothy and Eddie.
199
00:12:56,976 --> 00:12:59,989
There is something
peculiar in that relationship.
200
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,491
You're right. And I'm
gonna find out what it is
201
00:13:02,515 --> 00:13:05,962
or my name isn't
Sophia... Sophia...
202
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:08,330
Sophia Petrillo. Oh, yeah.
203
00:13:08,354 --> 00:13:13,770
Maybe the doctor is right. Maybe
I do need all three pills a day.
204
00:13:13,794 --> 00:13:17,707
Dorothy will never
tell her. Tell her what?
205
00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:21,132
The secret... that I don't know.
206
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,380
Rose.
207
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:29,351
There's something you
know that you're not telling me.
208
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:33,022
You can ask me all the questions
you want, you'll never break me.
209
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,892
So you're not in love with
this Eddie guy? Oh, no, Ma.
210
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,660
Then why are you spending
all your time with him?
211
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:40,918
Eddie's a love machine?
212
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:48,859
I'm sorry, Dorothy. I
held out as long as I could.
213
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,599
She said she'd tickle me.
214
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:59,002
You're a regular
Nelson Mandela, Rose.
215
00:14:00,607 --> 00:14:02,618
So that's it? Lust.
216
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:06,556
Look, Ma, I am a grown
woman and I have needs.
217
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:09,959
Needs? You need
food. You need air.
218
00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:12,516
You need a better wrinkle cream.
219
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,921
You don't need sport nookie.
220
00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:21,236
This is wrong for
you. Wrong for me?
221
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:24,039
This is why I didn't tell you
about this in the first place.
222
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,975
You are always criticizing
me, you are always judging me,
223
00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:28,978
you are always
telling me what to do.
224
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:31,613
This time I'm going to
do what feels right for me,
225
00:14:31,637 --> 00:14:36,219
and there's nothing you can say
that'll make me feel guilty about it.
226
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:42,758
Boy, I wish I'd married Bing
Crosby when I had the chance.
227
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:45,895
Why? Because he was
such a strict disciplinarian?
228
00:14:45,919 --> 00:14:49,231
No, because now I'd be a wealthy
widow with my own place in Pebble Beach,
229
00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:51,489
so I wouldn't have
to listen to that crap.
230
00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:08,317
I just haven't
found a thing today.
231
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,185
I don't look right in
American clothes.
232
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:14,523
I have a more European body.
233
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,649
Oh, in Europe, do they
all have big butts too?
234
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,865
Hi, Blanche. Hi, Rose.
235
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,401
Where on earth
have you girls been?
236
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,704
We were helping elderly people
get a good grip on the escalator.
237
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:30,273
We just lost all track of time.
238
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,375
How sweet. Isn't that sweet?
239
00:15:32,399 --> 00:15:36,212
Can you guys hold our bags? We wanna
go toss a few pennies in the fountain.
240
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:39,315
I'm gonna make a wish
that we stay pals forever.
241
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,717
Oh, sweetie. We'll
see you in the car.
242
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,352
OK, bye. Bye.
243
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:45,621
Aren't they the greatest? Yes.
244
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:48,090
Looks like I've been a
good influence on them.
245
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:54,518
Excuse me, ladies. I
need to inspect your bag.
246
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:04,707
I thought you were both asleep.
Why are you just getting in?
247
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,309
Because the justice
system in America
248
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:12,181
is an imperfect and sluggish
piece of antiquated machinery.
249
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:14,283
What?
250
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:17,720
We were in the slammer.
251
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:22,324
Our cute little "pals"
stole some merchandise
252
00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,193
and made us the fall guys.
253
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:26,995
We have to appear in
court at noon tomorrow.
254
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:30,299
And where were you?
We were calling all night.
255
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:33,569
I was out with Eddie.
Actually, I just got home myself.
256
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,437
I wonder why
Sophia didn't answer.
257
00:16:35,461 --> 00:16:39,375
She probably thought it was me
calling and decided not to answer.
258
00:16:39,399 --> 00:16:43,512
It's a little guilt trick she's
used on me ever since I was 15.
259
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:49,207
That and having major surgery
and telling me about it two days later.
260
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:55,024
Sometimes she didn't
even need the surgery.
261
00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:57,047
That's guilt.
262
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:02,998
Well, the days of my mother
making me feel guilty are over.
263
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,967
There is nothing wrong with
my relationship with Eddie,
264
00:17:05,991 --> 00:17:09,505
and if my mother can't buy it,
I'm very sorry, it is her problem.
265
00:17:09,529 --> 00:17:11,507
Oh, just getting in?
266
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,343
Listen, if you three are just
gonna use this place days,
267
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,579
would you mind if I got one of
those medical emergency beepers?
268
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:20,816
I'd feel terrible if one morning
you found me on the doorstep
269
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,985
instead of the Miami Herald.
270
00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:25,721
Ma, it's not gonna work.
271
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,390
I do not feel guilty
about staying out all night
272
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:30,793
and I do not feel
guilty about Eddie.
273
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,329
Don't underestimate me. I
could make you feel guilty
274
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,999
about bombing Pearl
Harbor if I wanted.
275
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:38,700
The point is, I don't
want you to feel guilty.
276
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,570
There's nothing wrong
with a physical relationship.
277
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:44,106
Well, then, what about
what you said last night?
278
00:17:44,130 --> 00:17:46,909
If you had let me finish my
thought, Colonel Gaddafi,
279
00:17:46,933 --> 00:17:49,311
you might have understood.
280
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:52,548
I said I thought this kind of
relationship was wrong for you.
281
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:55,283
Well, it's not. Dorothy,
I'm your mother.
282
00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:58,220
I know you. You're a
loving and sensitive person.
283
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,856
But this isn't gonna
be enough someday.
284
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:04,593
You'll be bored and dissatisfied
and you'll end up unhappy.
285
00:18:04,617 --> 00:18:06,862
I'd hate to see that
happen to you, pussycat.
286
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,998
But if you think
you can handle that,
287
00:18:09,022 --> 00:18:13,269
just look me straight in the
eye and I'll drop the whole thing.
288
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:17,772
Ma... I can handle that.
289
00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:19,796
Both eyes.
290
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:27,016
Oh, Ma, I hate it when you're right, and
I guess I knew you were right all along.
291
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,584
What are you gonna do, Dorothy?
292
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:30,919
Well, I'll have to
have a talk with Eddie.
293
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:36,747
I mean, it is obvious that this
relationship has to... taper off.
294
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,918
All right, I'll end it.
295
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:49,772
Girls, I know you're gonna
go to court and tell the truth.
296
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:52,941
We'd like to, but we
could get in some trouble.
297
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:55,877
You see, most of the judges
at juvenile court know us.
298
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,746
I think we've worn
out our cute act.
299
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,149
Now, you listen to
me, you little monsters.
300
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:03,486
If you think we'll be your patsies,
you've have another thing coming.
301
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:06,744
Maybe some cookies and
milk'd change your mind.
302
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:15,063
Here, how about $50 and you
tell the truth. What do you say?
303
00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,599
Are you trying to bribe us?
304
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,134
Oh, yeah. You catch on quick.
305
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:20,624
Make it 150... each.
306
00:19:22,095 --> 00:19:24,773
Oh, you little pirates.
307
00:19:24,797 --> 00:19:28,833
All right, you've got
it. Now, get out of here.
308
00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:34,683
Thank you, Blanche. Oh, beat it!
309
00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:37,253
I can't believe you did that.
310
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:41,745
Don't worry. That check was written on our
vacation account that we closed last week.
311
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:50,366
The bank would sooner cash a
check from Jim and Tammy Bakker.
312
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,902
Where are the girls?
313
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:55,470
Oh, they had a
sudden change of heart.
314
00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:58,440
They decided to confess.
315
00:19:58,464 --> 00:20:01,010
Oh, God, that's Eddie. I don't
know if I can go through with this.
316
00:20:01,034 --> 00:20:04,280
Don't worry. We're both right
beside you to help you through it.
317
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:08,184
It's not that easy. Eddie has some
kind of a strange hold over me.
318
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:12,754
Baloney. Eddie is just a
man, cut from the same cloth
319
00:20:12,778 --> 00:20:17,214
as the many men who have
dumped you over the years.
320
00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:22,230
Just think of him as
all those men, Dorothy.
321
00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:26,368
Become the dumper before
you become the dumpee.
322
00:20:26,392 --> 00:20:30,906
You're right. I'm gonna get rid of him
just the way Paul Bennington got rid of me.
323
00:20:30,930 --> 00:20:33,842
The way Steve Mendlebaum
got rid of me. The way Tom...
324
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:38,080
We'll be here all afternoon.
Can you just open the door?
325
00:20:38,104 --> 00:20:41,116
Blanche is right.
The man is history.
326
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:44,920
Hi, Dorothy. Oh,
Eddie, I want you so bad.
327
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:47,155
Dorothy. I can't help it.
328
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:50,092
He looks so cute
in that little suit.
329
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:51,793
Is something wrong, Dorothy?
330
00:20:51,817 --> 00:20:54,996
Yes, there is something
wrong. Eddie, we have...
331
00:20:55,020 --> 00:20:56,732
Eddie, stop doing
that with your lip.
332
00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:58,300
Doing what?
333
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:02,805
That sexy, quivering thing
in the corner of your mouth.
334
00:21:02,829 --> 00:21:07,509
I was just trying to loosen up a poppy
seed caught in my teeth with my tongue.
335
00:21:07,533 --> 00:21:11,346
Well, it's driving
me crazy. Dorothy!
336
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:14,850
Come here, Eddie. Sit down here.
337
00:21:14,874 --> 00:21:18,754
Listen, what Dorothy
is trying to tell you...
338
00:21:18,778 --> 00:21:23,625
What's that cologne
you're wearing?
339
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:25,728
I'm not wearing cologne.
340
00:21:25,752 --> 00:21:27,228
But that's impossible.
341
00:21:27,252 --> 00:21:31,634
It smells kind of like a mixture
of Old Spice and musk and...
342
00:21:31,658 --> 00:21:33,769
And a porterhouse steak? Yes.
343
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:38,307
That's me. The smell really
gets intense when I sweat.
344
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:43,012
Really? Well, I'd be
curious to find out just how...
345
00:21:43,036 --> 00:21:46,482
Blanche! Blanche!
346
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:49,751
Now, look here, Eddie.
Now, you listen to me.
347
00:21:49,775 --> 00:21:53,022
Dorothy has decided she wants
nothing more to do with you.
348
00:21:53,046 --> 00:21:57,326
I can't understand why because I
think you have about the cutest ears
349
00:21:57,350 --> 00:22:00,696
I've ever seen on a
man in my entire life.
350
00:22:00,720 --> 00:22:05,134
They make you kind
of look like Bambi.
351
00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:09,138
Marry me, Eddie.
Ladies, ladies, please!
352
00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:12,741
This always happens. I'm cursed.
353
00:22:12,765 --> 00:22:14,743
Ever since I was a little kid,
354
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:18,614
I've been absolutely
irresistible to women.
355
00:22:18,638 --> 00:22:20,616
I know I'm a little
plain to look at...
356
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,052
No, you're not plain at
all. Oh, you're adorable.
357
00:22:23,076 --> 00:22:24,786
Cute as a button. Please.
358
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:28,823
Please, let me finish. I
know I'm plain to look at,
359
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:33,795
but everything I do seems to
drive the opposite sex crazy.
360
00:22:33,819 --> 00:22:36,798
I don't do it on
purpose. It just happens.
361
00:22:36,822 --> 00:22:41,002
The way I look at a woman.
The way I make love to a woman.
362
00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:45,808
The way I kiss a woman. The
way I make love to a woman.
363
00:22:45,832 --> 00:22:48,944
You said "make love" twice.
364
00:22:48,968 --> 00:22:51,034
I know. It's my favorite.
365
00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:58,921
I'm not surprised you wanted to dump
me tonight - the good ones always do.
366
00:22:58,945 --> 00:23:04,660
They always end up wanting more than
just nights filled with unbridled ecstasy.
367
00:23:04,684 --> 00:23:08,363
What are you doing
tomorrow night?
368
00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:11,200
I'd better get going. I've
caused enough trouble.
369
00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:15,770
Look, Eddie, can't we see each
other occasionally, just as friends?
370
00:23:15,794 --> 00:23:21,531
It won't work. It's like
trying to eat one potato chip.
371
00:23:24,504 --> 00:23:26,248
Au revoir.
372
00:23:26,272 --> 00:23:28,917
Oh, hello, Sophia. Hello, Eddie.
373
00:23:28,941 --> 00:23:32,754
Eddie, I never noticed that
beauty mark on your neck.
374
00:23:32,778 --> 00:23:36,224
What beauty mark? That one!
375
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,482
Sophia! Sophia!